Jun 30, 2009

Maybe Baby?

So yesterday when I was driving home from work I had a weird sensation in my stomach... well, not really my stomach. It was a lot lower. I can't really explain how it felt. Almost like a tapping/twitching/popcorn popping kinda thing. I put my had on my stomach but it stopped. Then today watching TV I felt the same thing. And again later today... is it Baby Martin? I don't really know. I mean, I have had my stomach do some weird things before. I wish I knew for sure if it was him! Well, for excitement's sake, we are going to say it is. haha. I told Adam I thought I felt him and he sounded excited, but then sad. He said he wished he was here. I hate he can't experience all this with me.

Today was very uneventful for the part. I was off work today so I didn't do ANYTHING and enjoyed every minute of it. Abby had to get her yearly shots so I took her to the vet this afternoon. Poor baby, she was terrified. When I took her to our usual vet, I remember that Bud and Jennifer (an old friend from high school and his new wife) were working there now. Bud was off work today but Jennifer got to work on Abby. When I came in the waiting room and saw their liscenses on the wall I had a huge "oh my gosh" moment. It's just like we're all old now! I mean, I don't feel old enough to be married and having a baby, and it doesn't seem like any of my friends are old enough to have REAL jobs where they are responsible for the life and death of animals. Have any of you had one of those moments?? Like, you just aren't old enough to have the life you do? I feel like I am still in high school most of the time. I suppose it doesn't help that I am living in the town I grew up in and I'm living with my parents... but even before that I had times where I would see something on facebook about a friend and think "wow, we are not old enough for this."

Well speaking of high school I have to share that I recently got back in touch with an old friend. I hadn't talked to this guy in over a year. In high school and the beginning of college were were inseperable. I hung out with him all the time and thought of him and Bud as my two absolute best friends. Well, things happen and you get busy and lose touch. Well we were both on facebook last night and started talking and plan to meet up soon. (I mean seriously, what did people do before facebook???? It has to be the greatest invention of our time. Any place where you can find a long lost brother, see pictures of childhood friends all grown up, and tell people whatever is on your mind is the work of a genius.)

Well, off to eat dinner and then to bed. Work day number 4 tomorrow!

Jun 28, 2009

It's the end of the world as we know it

Alright people, I am freaking out a little (I'm sure you thinking, "um Jess, there isn't really anything new about that") But seriously, I think the end of the world is coming. Its all falling apart. First out hearts (and remotes) were ripped in two with the Jon and Kate announcement... then, poor Farrah and Michael... and now, the icing on the cake, BILLY MAYS!!! What the crap is going on in the world??!! I am convinced its the end of the world or something. Tradgedy has befallen us once again. How can the world go on without the shouting infomercials?? I know my TV days will never be the same. Let's all pay tribute for a moment...

And that my friends is the magic of oxi clean.

In other news, mom, dad, and I went to eat hibachi this afternoon. I am so stuffed its ridiculous. Hibachi used to be hands down my most favorite eating out experience. However, once I moved from the big city of Florence (total sarcasm) it really lost its magic. It was a big event to eat hibachi when I was younger. We had to drive an hour to Huntsville in order to eat it. Now, it seems like you can get it just about anywhere and the appeal is somewhat gone. Don't get me wrong, the food is still to die for. I mean, the ginger dressing, mushroom soup, fried rice with just the right hint of soy and terriaki? It doesn't get much better.... but the experience just isn't the same. So sad when the magic Japanese men of your youth turn into young American guys just flinging around some spatchulas. I mean our guy today didn't even speak. For the love of pete, at least make me an onion volcano or flick some shrimp tails in my glass. Once again, I feel as though the world has just lost a little of its spark lately.

Talked to Adam this morning as well... maybe thats why I am so down. We got in a ridiculous argument for which I should be awarded "super bitch of the year". He was telling me how some of the girls in Kuwait with him have been cheating on their husbands with some of the other guys. Well, when a wife hears something like this the first thought is "you better not be thinking about anything like that!". This might be ok to think, but my advice is don't share that with your husband. I said something and Adam got totally offended. I didn't mean anything by it so I tried to explain and just dug my hole even deeper. I said "well honey, you are going to be away from me for so long and I know how you are.." Again, not smart. I meant that I know what is on a 25 year old guy's brain most of the time. There is no need to type it. We all know it. Now, place that 25 year old guys brain in a situation where there is no wife/girlfriend. You get the idea. Not that I don't trust Adam. He has got to be the most faithful and loving man I have ever met. I think I just needed that little "honey, you know I love you and would never even dream of doing that." but instead I got the little "how can you even think that??!! Do you think I am the devil or something? I can't believe you don't trust me!" I felt horrible. Here he is stuck in this awful hell hole and I am questioning him about being faithful. I know, I suck. I cried on the phone with him and that upset him even more. We only had 1 minute left when I started crying and I know it killed him to get off the phone with me when he know I was upset. Thankfully we were able to talk later and appologize to each other. I have got to make a more conscious effort to just hold in my thoughts and not put any more stress on him. Poor guy is already going through enough.

Well, with that I am going to walk away, super bitch award in hand, and call it a day. Its only about 2:30, but I could use some bum time. Maybe a depressing lifetime movie will be on where the woman is meaner than me... that would make me happier. Day three of work tomorrow, but it will only be me there so maybe it won't be too bad. Fill you in tomorrow!


Hmm... so the blogger picture thingy has mysteriously started working. Did your visualizations match up? haha.

New post later today! Happy Sunday everyone!

Jun 27, 2009

Stress and Ravioli

Well today was day two of the new job. Today was not too great I must say. I got completely stressed out. I kept trying to be positive and tell myself that there is no way to know everything and that no one expects me to know everything, but it didn't work. I just got all upset because I felt stupid. THEN I got upset because of other stuff I am going to be working on there. This dentist is trying to build up his client base and audit his patient records to create recall lists and fill up the hygiene books. Well, my mom has been a hygienist for a long time and has some ideas of how to help him do that. So in addition to Mrs. J trying to teach me all the day to day stuff (which is still somewhat confusing - especially all the insurance stuff. I believe I have already expressed my dislike for the whole insurance entity in an earlier post) my mother is also trying to explain to me how to work on the patient records. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Its like a billion things being thrown at me at once by too many people. After we got off ,I got in the car and cried. It also didn't help that I had two missed calls from Adam while I was at work. I constantly worry about missing his calls thinking he is going to be upset or that it might be the only chance he gets to call that day. Then I cried more. Mom, the voice of reason, just kept telling me to chill out and everything would fall into place. I know she's trying to help, but its just hard when you feel like no one understands.

After work I got to come home and take a nap with a lovely lifetime movie in the background. I just love lifetime. They always have some movie showing which never fails to make you feel better about your own life. I mean, no matter how bad things get, at least you aren't an abused wife with a child who recently got kidnapped and is now being trafficed in South America while your secret lover was killed in a car accident going to visit your dying sister. Anyway, this one was pretty funny from the few segments I caught. A woman went to Hawaii to fulfill the last request of her now deceased surrogate mother only to find out her real mother was not actually dead as she had thought. All the while she finds love in her surrogate mother's nephew who happens to be about 20 years her junior. Think "the graduate goes Hawaiian". I couldn't help but laugh. Of course mom sat there and watched the whole thing, completely intrigued. It doesn't take much for her though. One glimmer of romance and she is sold. Nevermind the EXTREMELY bad acting and jumpy plot line. Its got kissing - its a keeper.

After that my parents and I went out to dinner. We ended up at Ricatoni's. LOVE IT! For all of you who like Old Venice, this place is even better! If you ever come to Florence, you must visit. So I had my usual ravioli and enjoyed every second of it. I was hoping the baby would enjoy it and do a little happy dance, but nothing. Oh well.

Then, we were off to Target to get a few things and of course ended up in the baby department. I just LOVE looking at all that stuff. Its so crazy to think we will have a little one here in a few months. Mom and I looked at cribs at this super cute baby store the other day and found some really great ones. I'm going to use a simple bassennet while living with my parents, but when Adam comes back in December I'm going to let him look at the cribs I like and help me pick one for us to order in May/June when we move back to Starkville. Here's a pic of two of my favorites.
(I would order the second picture in a darker wood tone. Not digging the lighter color)

I had every intention of posting yesterday, but I was kinda down. I didn't have to work, so I kinda bummed around the house and got a little depressed I guess. I slept with one of Adam's old shirts last night for some comfort, but I probably sniffed all of the "Adam smell" out of it. I put it by my face and just kept taking in deep breaths. It did make me feel a little closer to him for a while... he'd laugh if he heard me talk about that. I can just hear him now "Wait, you smelled it? I have a smell? Well, is it bad? Well if it's not bad, what is it?" He's so cute. Its funny how you can almost read a person's thoughts or reactions after you spend so long with them. I mean, not that Adam and I have been together forever or anything, but I still have a pretty good idea of what he would say or do in certain situations. I laugh a lot when mom and I look at baby clothes. I always picture Adam rolling his eyes as we "awwwww!" and "sooo cute!" everything we see. He would also die if he could see some of the boy clothes I pick up. I'll grab an adorable little set blue gingham overalls with a turtle on it and think ,ok, if Adam were here he would be saying "don't you dare put our boy in that! Its completely gay! Jessica! Seriuosly! Put that down!" Well, he's not here so at least I will get to put him/her in cutesy for a few months!

I feel like this was a very uneventful and boring post. Oh well, here's to the boring life!

******So I am totally mad at blogger right now. I wrote a short little blog yesterday and clicked the insert picture button and it totally froze my computer (yet another reason I didn't post anything yesterday). I did the same thing for this post and it froze it again. I have tried it like 5 times. Each time I have to go the task manager and end the task for my computer to even do anything. What is going on??? I hate that I can't put in pictures. I had some great ones of the Tempted movie, the gingham overalls, the cribs... ugh. Well, just visualize on your own! *******

Jun 25, 2009

Bouncing Baby

Well, the doctor's appointment went well! I didn't get to meet with the doctor, but the nurses were SOOOO super nice! (Turns out the primary RN who checks most of the patients is actually the mother of a girl I went to high school with). Anyway, the nurse who took me back was AMAZING! Can't brag on her enough! Not long after we got in and she asked a few questions she said that she usually ate lunch there at the office and if I ever wanted to come by just to hear the baby's heart beat to not hesitate to come! She said "Just come by and ask for Tammy and I will be happy to let you hear the heart beat! I know its scary being pregnant and sometimes you just need that reassurance." I was floored. I told her how nice that was and she said "well, our job is to take care of you!" I was sold. I then went on to tell her that I had been worried because of M's recent miscarriage at 16 weeks and she said "oh, no! Well, let's take a listen right now then!" She said everything sounded great! I felt soooooo much better!!! Little guy is doing just fine! Then, the RN came in (we'll call her Mrs. E since I will probably be seeing her more throughout my care). So Mrs. E said I looked familiar and then we found out her daughter was in my class in high school. I described all the symptoms I have been having lately (not sure if I mentioned this before or not... lately, I have been having some scary episodes of getting very lightheaded and dizzy with an increased heart rate, heavy feeling chest, and very breathless.) She said it might be due to the fact that I'm not getting enough iron. She put me on a new iron supplement in hopes that would help. They also drew blood to check my iron levels for sure. She did notice a slight heart murmur when she listened to me, but she said that was fairly normal in pregnancy. Anyway, I'm feeling much better about everything and CAN'T WAIT for my next appointment on July 24th to find out the sex!!!! WOO HOO!!!! I will finally be able to refer to Baby Martin as he/she appropriately now! Well, that is, if the baby cooperates! Just watch, we have been waiting so long and we are so excited, the baby will probably get modest and keep his little legs clenched! I am not leaving that office until we know though! They can get over it! I will very kindly just explain the situation - "listen doc, I've got a blog that needs to be accurate. I am currently referring to my unborn child as a "he" when "he" could actually be a "she". I can't do that to my baby. We're talking possible life-long trauma here." Surely that will be sufficient. Blogs are serious business. haha

On the subject of blogs, I have to say that I am shocked people read this. I mean, I don't really know HOW many people read this on a regular basis but I know it surpasses 5 (which I think is a big deal). I got a message today from someone I went to high school with that said she keeps up with my blog... I was shocked. We hadn't talked in YEARS. I was flattered that my ramblings were even remotely interesting enough to read once, let alone twice. The only reason I do this is to have a place to vent while Adam is gone. I never expected anyone to read it. I probably put too much info out there most of the time, but I have to do that to feel cleansed. Adam is my best friend in the entire world, and while I do have other people I can talk to, its not the same. I mean, when you live with someone you can share all the boring stories with them. They can't rush you and say "yeah, well, I've gotta run..." They can't run. They are stuck with you. If they go to another room, you can follow. They HAVE to hear the whole boring story. Please don't think I follow Adam around the house yelling aimlessly about whatever it might be and torturing the poor boy. Well, maybe a time or two... but not ALL the time. I am just making a point here people. I don't have my husband around to talk to - thats it. I need a place where I can get out all the little stuff and not worry about boring people. If you get bored with my blog, you don't have to read it - and the best part - I don't have to know. I don't have to deal with the social rejection. haha.

On the subject of Adam, he is doing fine. It's like 115 degrees over there and they are out in it training with all those horrible BDU's and carrying all that stuff... ugh. Poor guy. Anyway, other than missing family, he is doing good. I can't wait for him to get all settled so we can try out SKYPE. It will be so awesome to just see his cute little face for a while. I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing this growing tummy of mine either!

Well, I suppose that is all the news for now! I'm off work tommorrow so I'm sure some more blogging will be taking place to pass the time!

Jun 24, 2009

The New 8-5

Today was my first day at the new job. In case you didn't read the earlier post, I started work at a dental office today. I am going to be working in the front doing appointments, billing, etc. Anyway, there is a whole super confusing computer system to learn so I pretty much worked on that with the current receptionist today. It was fun, but I got super overwhelmed. I am a complete perfectionist so it really bothers me when I can't do something perfectly. Now granted, a normal person would say to themselves "I am just looking at this program for the first time, there is no way I am going to know everything." However, Jessica's brain works a little differently... mine is more along the lines of "okay, she has shown you how to do this once, you should be able to do it now....no? well, you're an idiot." Yeah, I am very hard on myself. I aim to please and its quite upsetting when I can't do things perfectly. Once again, as I have mentioned in SEVERAL posts, I have issues. hahaha. I know the job will be great once I am able to feel more comfortable with the program and start to learn the various procedures. And let me tell you - a lunch break is AMAZING! If you are not a teacher and you are reading this, you have NO idea. At school we had 20 minutes for lunch.... now subtract the time it takes for 25 students to move through the lunch line (approximately 5-6 minutes), the time it takes for you to open ketchup, milk, etc. (approximately 2-3 minutes) the time you spend getting up out of your seat to correct students for chugging milk, popping milk tops, crawling under tables, etc. (approximately 4-5 minutes) and the time for to clean up unforseen incidents such as tray spills (approximately 2-3 minutes) and you are left with approximately 3 minutes to eat lunch. Yes, thats right. Teachers get about 3 minutes to eat lunch. NOW at this new job I get AN HOUR!!!! I don't know what to do with myself!! I can eat!!! I can chew!!! Geez, I could get up a do a little dance if I wanted! (I mean, not that I would, I'm just saying... I have the time. I've never been much of a dancer. I wouldn't do that to myself)
As you know, I have to include a sob story. I hate that almost all of my posts have to include some sort of downer, but I suppose I just have some trying things happening at this point in my life. So anyway, my mom came home and told me that one of her friend's daughters found out she lost her baby. She was 16 weeks (what I'll be on Friday). Now, most of you know how paranoid I am. I immediately started thinking something was wrong with our baby. It has been 4 weeks since we have seen baby Martin on the ultrasound... what if something has happened??? How do I know if everything is going as it should??? I still haven't felt the baby move yet so how do I know if he's ok??? I am very worried now and I would rest assured since I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but as I mentioned before, they won't be doing an ultrasound. I wonder if I could just ask to hear the heart beat... Ugh, pregnancy is so stressful. You try your hardest to do all the right things and you get so attached to this little thing inside you, yet it can be taken at any moment. I really don't know if I could handle it if something were to go wrong. It would be hard enough if everything was normal, but with Adam gone I really don't know if I could take it. I know God will never give you more than you can handle, so I pray he doesn't think I am strong enough for something like that. I'm not.
Let's hope for a happy post tomorrow! Until then, keep Adam and baby in your prayers!

Jun 22, 2009

Baby Update

Well here we go! My belly at 15 weeks! I can't believe I am almost 4 months pregnant! It seems like I just found out yesterday! I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, but like I said in an earlier post, no ultrasound. Everything is going well though! I am sooo ready to start feeling the baby! My friend felt hers at 14 weeks and another at 17 so I am really hoping that anytime now I will feel him/her!! As always I have to add in that I wish Adam was here! He is still being a super great dad though and reading one of the books I bought him for fathers day. I can't remember what its called, but its a funny book about being a dad (concerns, what to expect, etc) He said he was really enjoying it (whether he actually is or not is a different story, but at least he cares enough to pretend! haha) Heard from him again this morning around 6:30. It was so nice to hear his voice first thing this morning!! Well, other than growing bigger not too much to report! I suppose is everything is going as it should!

Jun 21, 2009

Whoa! What a weekend!

This has been a CRAZY weekend! Brace yourself for an extra long post! I have to start with the biggest part of the weekend. I have been holding this in for so long and I am sooo glad I finally get to talk about it!!! (My dad reads my blog so I couldn't say anything; you'll see why in a moment) So when I met Jeff (my long lost half-brother) a few weeks ago, I mentioned to him that we were having dad's family over for father's day and we would love for him to come. I knew it was a long shot, but I thought I would go for it. He said he would definately think about it. As things progressed and dad and Jeff talked a few times, Jeff told me he was coming. I can't explain how I excited I was. I knew he was coming weeks ago, but I couldn't say anything because mom and I wanted to make it a surprise - both for dad and for my grandfather who had NEVER met Jeff. Well Saturday came and everything went GREAT!!!! Of course, tears were cried. Lots of them actually. We had invited over my grandfather, my dad's sister Lisa, his other sister Donna and her husband Lee, and Donna's son and his wife and daughter. EVERYONE was crying. It was so amazing to see my dad's face!!! He was so shocked. Get this, to make it a super surprise (and for me to buy time to get the video camera ready) I told dad that his father's day gift was being delivered by Lowe's that day. When Jeff sent me a text saying he and Becky were here, I went inside and told dad that Lowe's was here and he had to close his eyes as they brought in the gift. When I said "ok, open!" he opened to find Jeff. Like I said, it was totally amazing. The last time my dad saw Jeff was when he was 8 years old, and my grandfather and aunts had never even met him. Anyway, we all had a great time and I can't wait for us to get together again!

The only thing missing from the excitement of the day was Adam... We had our Father's Day function on Saturday. This was the day Adam left Camp Shelby for Kuwait. He will be there for 10 days and then they will fly to Iraq. I had a really hard time Friday night. I was nervous about our surprise, worried about Adam, tired, emotional from the pregnancy, and I just broke down. I cried in my bathroom for a good 10-15 minutes. Mom came in and talked to me and made me feel a lot better. I also wrote in the journal Jordan gave me. (When we went to Denver to visit he and Emily, they gave Adam and I a gift before we left. We opened it to find two identical journals. Adam and I are going to write in them while he is gone and then trade them when he comes back. Its a way for us to talk to each other and say things to each other that we might not get to say since who knows how often we will be able to talk. It will also be something neat for they baby to read when he/she gets older. I couldn't tell you how much that gift meant to us. It was absolutely perfect. Jordan is just that type of peron though. Completely in tune with others and their needs. Adam and are are lucky to know such great people and have such great friends.) He called me Saturday morning and told me they were about to board the plane, but I haven't heard from him since then. I take my phone with my everywhere hoping he will call soon and let me know they made it. We put up a flag for him while everyone was over yesterday. Mom and dad said they were going to put it up the day he left and that it won't come down until he comes home safely. I keep praying he will...

Okay, in the midst of writing this blog Adam called!!! We only got to talk for a few minutes, but he did make is safely to Kuwait. They are eight hours ahead of us there so it was 12 at night when he called. He was super tired but said he wanted to make sure he called. He isn't getting cell phone service so I guess he's going to have to buy a calling card. He took his iphone with him in hopes that he could use it just to look at pictures and listen to music, but I spoke to the ATT lady and she said that every time he does that, he is using the internet (which makes no sense to me. I have pictures on my phone and don't have internet and I can still look at them) and that he is incurring international internet charges which are CRAZY expensive. I wish I could talk to him again and tell him that! I dont know what we need to do. The lady said she had three nephews that are over there and they all opted not to take their phones. Ugh, ATT should just have a special thing that allows soldiers to use their phones while over seas without any international charges. She did tell me to tell Adam that everyone there at ATT thanks him for what he is doing. I thought that was such a nice sentiment. Someone at the bank told me the same thing the other day. She said to be sure to let her know if they can send him a card or anything. Glad to know there are still such nice people in the world.

Well, on a lighter note, I did get a job! I was super excited because I really wasn't expecting for find one. I will be working the front office at a dental office. I am only working Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday so I get a few days off which is perfect since I will have doctors appointments and stuff. My mom fills in at this office a lot so it will be kinda fun to have her around some of the days I'm working. She loves the dentist there so I think it will be a really great experience! In addition, I get to wear scrubs - I'm pregnant so being comfortable is a HUGE deal. I couldn't ask for anything more comfortable to wear to work! woo hoo for elastic and drawstrings!!

Well I suppose this wasn't as long as I had anticipated. I would've written a lot more I suppose, but my convo with Adam has made me a little emotional. I hate saying that all the time, because most people have no idea what kind of pain I am talking about. If any of you have a husband overseas you can relate - but most people have never experienced that. It is gut wrenching. Its literally like someone has taken your heart out of your chest and is just squeezing it. When I think about him, I can't breathe. My chest hurts. The tears come without any conscious thought and I can't control them once they start. I always think about him holding me and then my whole body starts to hurt knowing how long it will be until I get to feel that again. I often can't help but think about all the crappy things I have ever done or said to him when angry. I pray in my heart he knows how much I love him and how I could never live without him. I don't know how to push the horrible thoughts out of my head though. I think about him not coming back and I can't stop. How do I make my brain shut those off and turn on happy, optimistic thoughts? It's like someone is in my head with a remote control and they keep turning the channel from Leave it to Beaver to a violent and emotional lifetime movie. I want to yank that remote and just bust the tv all together but I cant. I suppse that is where God comes in. He's the comcast guy who I need to come in and set my tv to only get one channel - a happy one. I'm trying to lean on him. Well, this is quite enough emotion for one post! I appologize for all of the dark skies and sob stories, I just had to vent I guess. Keep Adam in your prayers!

Jun 18, 2009

"Well she better hurry up!"

I have to start by saying I am completely exhausted! (Will go on to explain later; First, I have to give you the background info) So my mom is a hygienist and talks A LOT! Maybe its because her patients cant talk back.... anyhow, she makes a lot of friends through her job. Well years ago she met this elderly woman named Hilda who didn't have any family here. Mom started going to her house, helping her out, and taking her to various doctors appointments. She kind of adopted her and we just think of her as part of the family now. Well, let me just tell you about Hilda. She came here from Germany and has a VERY thick accent (its really one of the coolest things ever. I could just sit and listen to her talk). She is slightly round and has very large fluffy blonde hair.(Well, it alternates between blonde, medim blonde, and brown.) Its very cute. Hilda also tells you exactly what she is thinking. She doesn't sugar coat anything. While she is elderly, she is still VERY sharp. She remembers everything and has some of the most amazing stories about when she was growing up in Germany. (She actually met Hitler one time when she and some other factory workers were invited to his home for dinner.) Anyway, in addition to all her great stories, she is just a funny lady to be around. She tends to think she rules the world. She doesn't like to wait or anything of that nature and makes a large to do if something is not done correctly (either concerning her or any of her friends/family. She wanted to contact the news station when I told her someone was rude to me on the phone.)

Well, my mom had to work today so I had to take Hilda to Birmingham for her appointment. I went to get her and when I got there she said we had to wait a moment to leave because the lady was on her way to her house with her lunch (apparently she is part of some program where they bring food to her). Well, the lady said she would be there by 11:30. I sat down at 11:27. Hilda is getting worried at this point. She started fussing about how the lady wasn't there. I said "well she's still got a few minutes Hilda". She said "No, Jessica, it is now 11:29 and she is not here. If she doesn't come, we just get up and leave anyway." The lady ended up coming at 11:31. So then we were on our way to Birmingham for her doctor's appointment. We got there a little early, but she had to fill out paperwork. When she finished it was 2:50ish and her appointment was at 3. At 2:57 she wanted to go to the desk and ask them what the hold up was. I said "Hilda they should call you back any minute." Then, at 3:00 she said "ok, I'm going up there to see what's goin' on. This is crazy." I couldn't help but laugh. Right as she was walking they called her name to come back. Well, when she came out of the appointment she was laughing and told me that her other doctor had called this new doctor and told him "now you better get Hilda back when you say you will. She doesn't like to wait and I promise you don't want to deal with her when she starts that fussing!". I thought our "waiting" ordeals might be finished but then I remembered she and mom always have to go to Crackle Barrell when they get out of the doctor's office. I called my friend Kristen to see if she wanted to join us since she lives in Birmingham now. Well I told Hilda she was coming, but I swear, two seconds after we sat down at the table and the waitress came to ask if we were ready she shouts "yes! We're ready! I'll have the..." I hadn't even opened my menu yet. I scanned quickly and decided on the chicken and dumplings (very tasty by the way). I felt bad for Kristen who would have to watch us eat while her food was being prepared, but I just had to laugh again. So Hilda. After Kristen got there and we ate, Hilda was ready to leave. Uh -oh. Our waitress hadn't been by in a while. She was getting frustrated and was looking all around asking if this waitress and that waitress was ours. I said I would try to go find her, but then a woman walked by and Hilda stopped her. Uh-oh again. She said "excuse me, would you kindly tell that woman over there that we are ready to leave and would like our check." She said sure and went and told our waitress. While Hilda was talking to Kristen our waitress came by and said she would be right back with the ticket. Hilda saw her coming and got out her card but didn't hear what she said. When she left Hilda looked at me and goes "Jessica! Where is she goin'? I said "she said she would be right back." Hilda then proceeded to say "Well she better hurry up or I just get up and leave!" It was quite amusing. They waitress came back and appologized for the wait. "Hilda just looked at her and said "well that's alright, we just have a long drive ahead of us and we need to get goin ya know." The waitress asked where we were going and I had to laugh again when Hilda said Florence. Its 2 hours away.I suppose all of this would be much more humorous if you knew Hilda and could hear the accent. I guess I just felt inclined to share the story with someone haha.

Well besides my Birmingham trip nothing too exciting happening. I am taking care of my PRECIOUS little cousin Friday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I am so excited to have something to do and she is at that age where she is an absolute hoot.

Oh, I also have a prospective job! I don't want to say anything just yet, but I'll discuss further if it pans out. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Jun 16, 2009

Paranoid or Cautious?

Yet another productive day! I took my resume to an employment agency today. Its one of those temp places so maybe some secretarial work will come up that I might be able to get into. I also dropped one by Sylvan Learning Center (she said they were hiring, but that they would keep it on file) to possibly do some tutoring. After that I went out to our friends Chris and Jessica's new house. (You know I am the sidetrack queen so it shouldn't come as a shock that I have to ask a random question. This has always been confusing for me grammatically... when you say "our friends Chris and Jessica's new house" should Chris and Jessica both be possessive? I mean adding an apostrophe "s" to each name or should it only be adding to the last name in the series?) Anyway, they have a great new place! They live right by Chris's dad and stepmom so they get to hang out at their pool and what not. Clark (their son who is 21 months) also really likes it I think. He has a ton of places to run around and play.

After Jessica's, I made a quick stop to Target to look for some maternity shorts/pants. I know, can you believe its to that point already? My old stuff just doesn't fit anymore so I bit the bullet and went looking. I am so upset with the selection. Target had like two rows of maternity stuff and only the dresses were cute. I don't know why people think that when you get pregnant you suddently want to wear tappered cotton cropped pants. I already look fat enough, I don't need to look 70 years old too. Anyway, I settled for one pair of semi-decent blue jean shorts so I can have something to just wear around the house and in the yard or whatever. Of course I had to look at shoes as well. If I have failed to mention this before, I have a small shoe fettish. Well, actually, a BIG shoe fettish. Especially now. Now matter how big your belly or the rest of your body gets, your shoe size never changes! I found some cute ones, but with this extra weight (that will only get worse) I am looking a lot more at comfort. I NEVER thought I would say that, but after teaching and being on my feet all day I have begun to be more open to shoes that aren't quite as cute as I would like, but are comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I still buy the tremendously cute, however tremendously uncomfortable ones too... I haven't completely lost my mind.

Now for my blog title....Tonight I went to a benefit concert with mom and 3 of my aunts. Muscle Shoals used to be a big music scene and apparently some guy named Hollis Dixon was a big deal here. Well, he has Parkinson's disease and in order to help raise money for him, several of the guys that used to play with him put on a benefit concert. Turns out my uncle Brent used to play in a band and they played with him a few times so he was asked to perform. It was the first time I have EVER seen him do anything like that it was GREAT. I had no idea he could sing so well!! While the show was great, I couldn't relax! Let me explain... When I agreed to go to the show, I wasn't expecting anything big. I mean, it was held at a high school auditorium and all the guys who were playing were kinda old and stuff. I didn't think anything about it. Old guys jamming out like that used to "in the olden days" didn't scare me too much. Well, when we got there and they started playing, it was SOOOOOO LOUD!!! I suddenly started panicking about the baby - "Oh my gosh! I could be deafening my baby right now!" I immediately leaned over to my mom and asked her if she thought this was bad for the baby. She looked at me very confused and said "could what be bad?" Geez mom... "the music!" Its so loud!" She just laughed and said that they baby was probably liking it. Well, of course that didn't make me feel any better. I then started worrying about the vibrations from the music. What if I was deafening AND shaking my baby to death? I was really freaking out at this point so I picked up my phone, went to the bathroom, and immediately started texting everyone I could think of asking if loud music was bad for the baby. I texted Adam, Tassie, Jessica, Laura, my cousin Lylie... everyone. I got one back from Jessica saying the baby probably couldn't hear yet, but the vibrations might not be good. Then Laura said it was fine, but I still wasn't sure so I called my dad and had him google it. A doctor said they aren't really sure what it does to the baby. Lylie also said it was ok, so I just went back in and tried to enjoy myself. The concert was supposed to last from 6-10, which was fine, but needless to say I was slightly releived when it ended around 8:30. Maybe I didn't do any permanent damage. He will either come out with slight hearing loss or loving 60's and 70's music. Is it crazy that I worry about this stuff? I mean, I just know if anything is wrong with the baby I will think it's because of something I did. I couldn't live with that guilt. Since 5 out of 6 people laughed at my worry, maybe everything will be ok.

Ok, so now I have ANOTHER crazy story. While we were leaving the school, I looked over and saw my old pageant director! I know you people don't give two flips about this, but I haven't seen this woman in YEARS! I did pageants in high school and I started doing a lot with the American Coed system (which Deana was the director of for Alabama). Anyway, after winning Miss Alabama, I traveled a lot with Deana and eventually ended up working as her administrative assisstant and did a lot of judging and emceeing for the pageant. Those were seriuosly some of the best years of my life. I was so incredibly happy. I loved what I did. I loved the traveling, I loved working with the girls, and sadly enough, I really loved being on stage. It was the perfect job. Well, after high school I had to quit since I was moving three hours away to go to State. Deana and I kinda lost touch and last I heard she had moved back to California. Well, like I said, as I walked out of the building tonight, there she was! It was totally surreal. She looked fabulous (as always) and it made me remember all the fun times we had had. One time at Nationals, myself and some of the other girls Alabama girls had a few hair fly-aways. Deana looked everywhere for hairspray, but couldn't find any. She did however find a glue stick. She rubbed some on her fingers and smacked it right in our hair. It was kinda a running joke after that that you have to put glue in your hair for good luck (we all ended up placing that day). It was so great to see her and catch up for a while. Ya know, God really does work in amazing ways. After Adam leaves, it seems as though he has brought so many wondeful people into my life to fill the void. I mean first it was the baby, then Jeff, now Deana and a few other people I haven't seen in a while that I've gotten to catch up with. He really is amazing and I feel better each day knowing he is going to give me strength and take care of me while Adam is away!!!

Jun 15, 2009

Good Day

Well today has been very productive. I've been trying to keep myself busy and it appears to be working. I woke up this morning and made a great breakfast. Sorry to side track, but I just HAVE to share this. Toast two pieces of cinnamon swirl bread in the toaster. Then, mix cream cheese and honey together in a small bowl (Not quite equal parts. You want a little more cream cheese than honey. The honey will make the cream cheese less dense and thick so just add honey until it is spreadable, but not runny). Spread that on the cinnamon toast and top it with chopped strawberries. Its to die for! So after my lovely breakfast, I looked for some jobs online with Times Daily. They use Monster so i had to fill out info, upload my resume, etc. I applied for a few so we'll see what happens. Then, it was off to run a few errands.. I will spare you the details.

After errands I had lunch with my aunt Lisa which was very nice. She and I are one in the same. I'm not sure if genetic code can be shared by aunt and neice, but we have a lot in common. Pirmarily, we both have that very sarcastic sense of humor than can drive people insane. I just love it. I'm so glad she works in Florence so we can see each other more now. See how she looks totally uninterested in me? SOOO just an act. haha.

After that I had to mail some things to Adam's parents so they could give them to him Friday when they go through Hattiesburg. I never knew they had "Daddy to be" Father's Day cards, but they do. I was super pumped.

I suppose tonight will be spent watching Jon and Kate plus 8. I would say I would do another walk with mom, but the one yesterday has me a little scared. Let me begin by saying my mother is a machine. She could totally run circles around a marathon runner I think. And its not just her walking/running endurance. She works like she never gets tired. It's completely insane. She is old! I don't know how she has so much energy! She could go go go all day and never stop. Energizer bunny - thats what comes to mind. Anyway, I should've

known that asking her to take a walk with Abby and I would be a mistake, but I thought MAYBE she will keep it slow and quick since its kinda late and she has things to do. OH NO! She walked me so far around the neighborhood I thought I was gonna die! Not to mention the last half mile my bladder was about to burst! Just a word of advice, walking up and down hills is not smart when you are pregnant and have to go to the bathroom. I mean, my dog Abby was dragging ME on the leash (side note: Abby is the most unathletic dog ever. She is so prissy that often when you take her on walks she just stops in the middle of the road and makes you carry her the rest of the way.) Mom thought the fact that Abby was doing better than I was was quite amusing; me, not so much.
I'm not sure what the episode for Jon and Kate is tonight... I missed last week of course since I was with Adam. I have to say, this whole thing distrubs me. I know I am way late on the whole "voice your mind about the Jon and Kate scandal", but its just sad. I mean I am one of those people who always sees both sides of an argument. (I suppose that is typically a trait of indecisive people) I feel for both of them. I mean Kate is always so snappy and mean to Jon, but at the same time, he is being extremely irresponsible and selfish. I dunno. I just pray they work something out for the kids. All this publicity and rumors have to be having an effect on all the kids - especially Mattie and Cara. I mean you know the parents of the kids they go to school with have to talk at home. How horrible to come to school and have a kid be like "Hey Mattie, do you know what adulter means? Oh, my mom said it about your dad so I was wondering what it meant." And for them to have to see all those tabloids when they go to the store... so sad. I'm praying for them.

Jun 14, 2009

I really do have a life.... promise!

So I know this is my second post today. Bear with me people - my husband is gone and I am living with my parents. Venting is needed. Especially when I am wide awake thinking about Adam. I need to stay busy so here is a fabulous -ology I saw on LT's blog. This should keep me busy until I finally go to bed...

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Left (I've heard that means I smart... haha)
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Um this question confuses and disturbs me... I mean I saw that when Hope did this she mentioned teeth... that would have to be the extent of it for me. Oh soon I will have a baby removed! Well, wait, if all goes well, I guess the baby isn't really REMOVED... whatever, next question.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? Oh wow, let me think back. Everyone has been so generous in letting me stand by and watch the lifting since I am preggo. I suppose it would have been something for school while I was packing up my classroom.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I used to think I would want to know, but now there is no way I would want to find out
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Wow.. I would have a double name. I just adore them. If we have a little girl one day she will have a double name.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? No way! I don't think you could even pay me $10,000 to do it. When I say I hate spicy stuff, I mean I HATE spicy stuff. Equate it with someone asking you to drink poop water or something.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Wow, if I wasn't living with my parents (aka NO closet space) I would definately run and count them...(it would buy me another few minutes of preoccupation) however, my shoes are currently EVERYWHERE so I will have to guess at around 10-15
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Wow, I really have no idea. I have been pulled over several times so I suppose it would be one of those instances. (Can I just throw in that it rocks being a girl. I mean I have cried my way out of at least 5 tickets)
Last person you talked to in person ? My Momma
Favorite Month? June (well except this one) hmmm, I guess I need to change it to May since that's when Adam comes home for good. Oh, or December when the baby is born and I get to see him... ah, the indecisiveness... May, final answer.

Missing someone? Of course. I only mention him at least twice every sentence. I shoulda named the blog "Me talking about Adam"
Mood? bored/sad... but getting better!
What are you listening to? nothing, mom and dad are sleeping. Wow, I totally feel like I am in high school again after that.
Watching? the computer, the TV is on mute in the background but can't say I am watching it.
Worrying about? take a guess... did you guess ADAM? You're right! Sorry, no prizes. What's the line they use? "Void where prohibited"

What’s the last movie you watched? X-Men Origins: Wolverine. As I said, very pleased.
Do you smile often? Here lately it hasn't been so much, but under normal circumstances I like to think I do
Do you always answer your phone? No. If you have ever called, texted, or just know me for that matter, you know it is a rare occassion for me to answer my phone. I don't know why that is exactly. I am also horrible at returning calls. Maybe this will help everyone to not take it personally - "its not you, its me." hahaha.
It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? Usually I would say Kristen, but lately (because of his schedule) I would say Adam.
If you could change your eye color what would it be? BLUE! I ADORE blue eyes. I tried the colored contacts once but, get this, all colored contact manufacturers are pupil descriminative!! I know, right?! Have you been descriminated against because of your pupil size? I feel your pain... let it out.... See, the colored portion of the contact surrounds your whole eye and they leave a clear part in the center to accomodate for your pupil. Well this "hole" is a one size fits all deal. My pupil happens to be larger than that hole, so I had vision distortion from the colored portion of the contact going into the line of my pupil. Darn companies. This is 2009, wake up. We're not all a size zero pupil. Maybe I could get into some plus-size pupil negotiations.
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don't add flavor; in fact, I rarely go to Sonic.
Do you own a digital camera? Of course. I think the four year old down the street has a digital camera.
Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes. When I was a kid and in college. Poor Gilly died soon after arrive in Florence for his first vacation from Starkville. I tried to distill water from the tap by leaving it out in an open container for a day. Apparently, that internet trick didn't work or I didn't leave it out long enough because Gilly soon found his way to that big tank in the sky. I burried him in our backyard. (Yes, this was my college fish. I grew attached, ok?)
Favorite Christmas song? I couldn't even begin to chose. I am a little obsessed with Christmas.
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Hmm, quite a ways away. Can't say I have thought about it. If it were my pretend wish list it would be filled with Adam's name.
Can you do push-ups? I could pre-baby. Can't say I have tried any lately.
Can you do a chin up? haha. I think I tried once at Adam's parents' house and I didn't quite make it.
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Lately both. I used to always get excited about the future, thinking everything would somehow magically work out. However, with Adam gone, I worry constantly about the future.
Do you have any saved texts? No. I mean my phone keeps them in my inbox for a while, but I don't have any that I read and was like "oh, I need to keep that!"
Ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Quite a few fender benders that resulted in lose of one or more side mirrors (I took off so many of those things my parents started to wonder if I had some hidden vendetta against them) The other was still a small fender bender but I did hurt my neck and had to get interviewed and stuff by the insurance agency to pay for doctor bills.
Do you have an accent? When I am talking I don't really pick up on a southern accent, but when I have something played backed to me that I have said I think I sound totally red neck.
What is the last song to make you cry? Rascal Flatts "Stand". I was alone in my car thinking about Adam and that song came on the ipod. I think I mostly cried because I felt like they were talking about my life. Somewhat of a mess, but that I needed to realize what I am made of, brush myself off, and stand.
Plans tonight? Hm, the night is almost over. I didn't really do anything except talk to Adam and take Abby for a walk with my mom.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? I think everyone has. If you haven't I need your name and address; not so I can find out your secret, but to come over there and kick you. Sorry, that was mean. I think I am a little mad at happy people right now.
Name 2 things you bought yesterday. Um I bought KFC for myself and my parents when we stopped to eat on the way back to Florence. Love me some KFC mac-n-cheese!!
You ever been given roses? Yup. Flowers are so lovely. I truly adore lilies though.
Current hate right now? War, the military, everything keeping me from Adam.
Met someone who changed your life? Absolutely. I think everyone you meet has some sort of effect on the rest of your life. I mean, I could pan out a whole "butterfly effect" deal of how one seemingly meaningless person has completely impacted my entire life. (I will spare you the boredom though! haha)
What song represents you? Wow, that is tough... "Bitch" comes to mind right now only because I am still dealing with the modiness from my crazy hormones. I also say that because Meredith Brooks sings about being so many different things at once and I feel that totally summarizes me at this point.
What were you doing 12 AM last night? Well, its almost 12 now... right now I am desperately trying to occupy my time. LAST night, I was sleeping at 12.

Aw, all done. Well, that did take a good bit of time to complete. I'm sure these questions weren't meant for paragraph responses, but the more I can drag out an activity the better! I have managed to pull my mind away from the pity party and that is success. Maybe you enjoyed my tangents and got a little late night amusement! Good night!

What a Week

Let me start by saying that this has been the most emotional week I have ever had. As most of you know, Adam was on pass this past week before they deploy. I'll give you the rundown of events ...

Monday (8th)
I left Florence in the morining and drove the 5 and a half hours to Hattiesburg to see Adam for the first time in 3 weeks (I am sooo not counting my last trip as "seeing him" since most of you know what happened on that trip!) It was amazing seeing him again. We got a hotel since he had to be back on post at 6am the next morning. We had dinner with our friends Chris and Jennifer and got to just catch up, hang out, and relax which was totally nice. I slept better that night that I have slept in a long time

Tuesday (9th)
This was family at Camp Shelby. Adam's parents met me at the hotel and we drove to base for the ceremony. It was excrushiatingly hot but we managed. All the guys were lined up in formations on the parade field and they explained the history, sang the national anthem, and a few people spoke like Haley Barbour. It was a nice ceremony. I almost lost it when the helicopters flew over the field and everyone applauded. Anyway, after that we all went to Adam's grandmother's house to visit her for a while and then drove back to Jackson. That night we went out with Ryan to target where I got a nice maternity bathing suit. I got black. Its slimming right? Yeah, not so much when you have a melon in your stomach... Later we went to Ryan's house and watched Gran Torino. OH MY GOSH. That is hands down the most emotional movie I have ever seen. I suppose it doesn't help that I am a little emtionally insane right now, but this movie was ridiculous. It was totally good, but I could barely hold myself together.

Wednesday (10th)
Adam and I spent the day just hanging out and enjoying our time with each other. It was such a blessing to be able to just be with each other for a while. We went to see that X-Men Wolverine movie and I was shocked that I really liked it. I NEVER thought it would be a move I would get into but Adam wanted to see it and there was no way I was going to say no. The poor guy is going to the middle of no where for a year - the least I could do was watch 120 minutes of Hugh Jackman. Anyway, like I said, turned out to be awesome.

Thursday (11th)
We had an awesome time hanging out with our friends Matthew and Allyson. We FINALLY got to see their adorable baby! He is 9 months old now and completely precious. We went swimming and then came back later and ate dinner with them.

Friday (12th)
My parents made it to Jackson a little after 12. We all sat around and had gumbo and then went to the Natural Science Museum. They were starting an exhibit called Monsters of the Sea, but it wasn't scheduled to start until Satuday. Well Adam's dad told them he was leaving for Iraq tomorrow and they let us go ahead and tour the exhibit. Props to the Natural Science Museum. That night we went to this great restaurant in Jackson called Nick's. Here are a few pics.

I also have to share this about our night out. So let me ask a question. If you were pregnant, would you brag about drinking? I know. I'm sure your brows are furrowed, with a "what the crap are you talking about" look on your face. Well, that is totally what our waitress did. I mentioned that I was expecting and I asked if they had any blended drinks they could make without alcohol. She said yes and then went on to say "Oh, I had two beers last night if it makes you feel any better." I just love that last part - if it makes you feel better. Why yes waitress lady! The fact that you are jeopardizing the life of your child and therefore appear a completely unfit mother very much puts me at ease!!! Good grief, what did she expect me to say?? I was in shock. Even more, she kept making comments about it all night! Who does that? Ah, the south...

Saturday (13th)
Another great day. We woke up and ate breakfast and then sat around outside just visiting. Then we had a wonderful lunch where we celebrated mine and Adam's 1 year anniversary. Ya know, usually people have a nice romantic dinner with just the two of them or go on a great trip somewhere, but there is no other way I would've rather spent my anniversary than the way we did - surrounded by our family. We all talked about how only a year ago we were going crazy wedding planning and how quickly that year has gone by. We never thought we would be sitting in those places a year later with a baby on the way. I hope this year with Adam gone goes just as quickly. We all had a piece of our year old wedding cake which actually tasted really good. After that we visited some more and then Adam had to go....

Adam and I had talked about how we wanted to do the whole thing;who he wanted to go to Shelby, who needed to drive, etc. He finally decided it would be too hard for all of us to go to Shelby, so Ryan drove him and we all said our goodbyes at his house. I would not wish that pain on my worst enemy. While I had a great day with everyone, I couldn't help but put everything into this though "will this be the last time ___?" From watching Adam brush his teeth to all of us sitting around at the table, I kept thinking will this be the last time I get to see this or be a part of this? I know it is a horrible way to go through the day, but I couldn't push it aside. I watched him do everything hoping the baby and I would get to see him do it again. I put on a happy face though and told him everything would be just fine. I kept that face until we had to to let him go.

As everyone said goodbye to him I could tell they were trying to be strong for him and for me. However, when I hugged him that last time, I couldn't be strong anymore. I cried in his arms hoping this wasn't the last hug we would share. He cried. I cried. I didn't want to let him go. He pulled away and touched my stomach and told the baby bye. I cried some more. Like I said, I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I have never felt so much hurt. Here I have been given my soul mate, the most amazing man I have ever met, the father of my child, and here I am letting him go not knowing if I will see him again. I hate war. I want to manufacture signs and shirts that just say "war sucks". Its not fair.

As he pulled away I smiled and cut the tears, but as soon as he was out of sight most of us lost it. His dad said "How many times do we have to do this?" (remember, they have been through all of his previous deployments too). I cried and cried. We went upstairs to pack his things and I cried some more. I got in the car with mom to go back to Florence and I cried again. I honestly didn't feel like I would ever stop crying. I asked my mom how I was going to do this and she said I would be just fine. I 'm not really sure how, but I guess I don't have a choice.

Sunday (14th)

Today is our 1 year anniversary. Adam called this morning to tell me happy anniversary and I got to share some news with him... so I don't know if you have heard of these gender prediction tests. You can buy them over-the-counter and it will tell you the sex of your baby. Now, granted, this is not 100% accurate, but in clinical trials it was over 90% accurate; in real world trials it was 82% accurate. I was telling everyone about it while we were in Jackson and they all wanted me to get one just for fun. I got one, but read you have to do it first thing in the morning so I had to wait until today. I took it this morning and..... boy. I told Adam and I could just hear the excitement in his voice. It was adorable. We both know that this is only for fun and we won't know for sure until we have the ultrasound, but its something fun to think about. Kinda makes it more real. I guess we'll see at the end of July how accurate it is!
I am going to get some lunch. Please keep Adam in your prayers this week. As hard as this is for me and his family and friends, its a thousand times harder on Adam. Pray for God to give him peace and strenth. I will get up his address in Iraq when I get it from him in case you guys want to send him a happy note or something.
Job search starts Monday! Wish me luck!

Jun 12, 2009

Jessica World

So I know I haven't written in a while, but I have been completely absorbed in my own little world the past few days. Adam has been on his 4 day pass before he has to go back to Camp Shelby to deploy. We have been spending our time together in Jackson and it has been fabulous. I am going to be a wreck when we have to take him back tomorrow. Anyway, not sure if anyone cares, but just wanted to fill you in on the absence! I will have a TON to write after he leaves because I know I will be totally heartbroken and will want to vent. Until then, keep us in your prayers!

P.S. - Baby Martin is still doing well! :)

Jun 6, 2009

Big Bro Big City

So, yes I had a GREAT weekend with the bro in Nashville! Just got home today (after driving WAAAY too long! I got stuck in traffic due to a wreck and moved 1 mile in 1 hour). Besides dealing with the joys of the highway, I had an awesome time. Let me give you the play by play (beware of lenth)...
Arrived at Jeff's office around 4 on Thursday. It was so fun. I got to be paraded around like a new little poodle and met his co-workers and see where he spends his day (I would put his 9-5, but he is on, as he calls it, a "flex" schedule. He doesn't have set hours per say. I totally hate him.) So we took the tour of Gibson and then headed back to his place. We decided since we had both had a long day we would do movie night. We went out to get the movies and stopped at Loveless Cafe to get dinner. OH MY GOSH. This place was incredible. Apparently the chef or someone there has been a guest on food network challange or cookoff or something. Jeff was telling me the whole deal but I guess I was too absorbed in the biscuits to pay close attention to detail. Anyway, after our full stomachs we got our movies and went home. First we watched Flirting with Disaster, an old Ben Stiler flick (He goes on a search to reunite with his real parents; we thought it would be fun to watch given our situation) Then we had to throw in the 80's flick Weird Science. Always a classic.

Friday we woke up somewhat early and hit Jeff's usual starbucks for some breakfast and coffee (him, not me. Arg to the no caffine rule!) Then I believe our first stop was a store he designed the graphics for. Did the logo, signage, etc. Here is a pic. It's an adorable little boutique right outside Nashville. Then, off to a hair salon to meet one of his friends who cuts hair there. She and her client she was right in the middle of were totally enthralled with our story. haha. Um after that we went Cumberland Gallery so I could see where he shows his work. Totally fun by the way. I was a very proud little sis. THEN we went to... um... some other cute city and met one of his friends who runs this boutique H.Audrey. It is soooooo cute!!!! It is owned by Hank Williams Jr's daughter. There was nothing in there for less than $200 in case you were wondering. I take that back, I think there was some soap for less than that... While we were in there the wife and kid of "Big Kenny" (from Big and Rich) came in. It was totally normal for everyone there, while Jessica from the big city of Starkvegas, is desperately trying to control the urge to ask for an autograph from the 5 year old cause he is the kid of someone famous. He was probably too interested in the cute maltese there to make time for autographs anyway...

After recovering from vast sticker shock, we went to lunch at another awesome place called Firefly. Had a nice lunch and then we were off to meet one of Jeff's friends from school. Then he rode with us to see Jeff's new apartment. This place was so awesome. It's an old factory and they turned it into penthouse units. He's got amazing 30 foot ceilings and and adorable little loft area up a spiral staircase. Here's a pic of the living room view. After heading home and taking a nice nap, we got dressed and went to ANOTHER fabulous restaurant.

This morning I woke up and made muffins for us and then had to head back home. Had a super fun drive (as I already mentioned) and then helped mom make dinner.

Mom and I later watched He's Just Not That Into You and I ended up crying thinking about how lucky I got with Adam. Yes, I know ladies, bask in the jealousy! ;) I swear, this movie totally makes me appreciate the fact that I am married and don't have to deal with the crazy dating scene anymore. I mean really - it's all just a bunch of mind games. Those who can play the best win. I feel so bad for friends who are still swimming in all the dating muck. You deserve a medal for real. I might write congress. If you make it through the dating world and come out even somewhat normal you should win a little award. At least a little coupon book or something. Anyway, be patient. Mr. Right is out there. And TRUST ME, he is probably the last guy you would EVER expect. As most of you know, I didn't really want a whole lot to do with Adam at first. Just wanted to be friends. I knew he had feelings for me, and I liked it. I totally abused it to be honest. Then, when he cut me off - WHAM! Reality hit that I couldn't be without him. As the old line goes, "he was everything I never knew I always wanted". Just some advice for all those searching females -don't count out that cute guy that wont leave you alone. Mr.Not-My-Type might become Mr.Right when he turns out to be Mr. So-My-Type for another girl. If that makes any sense... haha. Well, I'm off to make trip 100 to the restroom. If it's already this bad, I'm just going to have to make a camp in there when I reach 7 or 8 months. I'm feeling very talkative so possibly a new post tomorrow! Night Night!

Jun 3, 2009

Ah, the Wait...

Alright, so even if you aren't preggo, everyone goes to the doctor. You have someone you go see when something is wrong. In order to go see this person and trust them with your health, you must like them. If you don't like them, you probably change doctors. I would say it is almost certain that people like their doctors. Well, I am having some concerns, so I wanted to throw that out there so that those of you reading this could relate even if you aren't pregnant.

So I started my prenatal care in Starkville (duh). I was somewhat happy with the doctor. I had been seeing him the whole time we were living there so it was kinda a given I would continue once I got pregnant. Well, for some reason I just started not liking him as much... I know, very odd. Anyway, I was happy that I was going back to Florence so that I could see my old doctor from high school. This doctor totally rocks. I absolutely love him. He is the type that will come into the room and just talk to you forever. He makes you feel like you are his only patient and I love that. Well, I had my first appointment with him recently and everything went well. Then, I talked to our insurance company and it turns out he is not a provider! UGH! I won't even get started on insurance. It's all just silly to me. Too many rules. Soooo, I now have to change doctors again so that I can see someone who is a Tricare provider. So I schedule an appointment with doctor number 3. I am already not impressed. I have called the office on two separate occassions and talked to two different girls and they were both INCREDIBLY rude. (I have to side track for a moment and discuss proper customer relations. This has to be my absolute biggest pet peeve in the entire world. If I call your company/office, I expect you to treat me with respect. I am giving you my business. Your job is to be cordial and accomodating. If you can't do your job then you need to find another one. I also don't care if you've had the day from hell, you better not let me know that. You woke up late, stubbed your toe, ran out of hot water, got in a fight with your husband and hit a curb on the way to work? Fabulous. You still better pick up that phone and answer my questions like you are runnning for office.) Ok, off that soapbox, back to the doctor. So I was already irritated with the rude receptionists. Then, I called a third time to find out whether or not they would be doing an ultrasound on this visit (mom likes to go with me to my visits now since Adam isn't here and she insists on being there for all the ultrasounds). Well, perhaps I am naive, but I assumed they did an ultrasound at every monthly visit. Isn't that the best way to tell that everything is going as it should? Well the receptionist said that they would not be doing an ultrasound until 20 weeks (I will be 16 when I go). She also said that it would not even be with the docotor! What?! My first appointment at this place and I don't even get to meet my docotor? That sounds retarded. She said the initial OB appointments are very lengthy so the nurse practioner handles them. Ugh, I am so frustrated. However, there isn't anything I can do about it since he is the only practice around that is a Tricare provider. (And again we come to the resentment of health insurance.) What all of this means is that we won't be finding out the sex of the baby until the end of July. Total bummer. I want to know NOW! I have always been a very impatient person, but this is torture! I see all these cute baby clothes I want to buy and I can't get anything because we don't know the sex yet. Oh well, I know I just need to enjoy the time and it will fly by.

On a more positive note (once again I appologize for all the negativity), I get to go to Nashville tomorrow to see Jeff. I am totally looking forward to it. I really hate I can't go out and drink and explore the town, but there will be plenty of time for that after the baby is born. I am so lucky to have parents that adore children. To be honest, I will be lucky if I ever get to hold my baby once it's born... that's how obsessed mom is with babies. She is the type who would say "oh Jess, you need to get out. Let me watch the baby and you go do something." I didn't realize that for some people that is the out of the ordinary. I assumed that's how all grandparents are; Wanting you to leave so they can watch the baby. However I have recently discovered that not all families are like that. Blows my mind but at the same time makes me very thankful for my parents.

And lastly, I have GOT to find a job!!! I cannot stay at the house anymore!!! But who in the world is going to hire a pregnant lady who is only going to be here for a year?? I need a nice temporary job just to get me out of the house. Any suggestions? My mom says that I need to find something that won't require me to be on my feet all day. I don't understand her logic now, but I am assuming that as I get bigger this will be of vital importance. I like being on my feet and running around. I can't stand a job where I just sit still all day. Well, if anyone can think of anything, PLEASE let me know!!

Jun 2, 2009

Here is the latest ultrasound/belly picture. I am not really sure why I put these on here when all of the five people who probably read this are already my friends on facebook... anyway, makes me feel happy so here it is again!

PS to readers - I am working on the orange header situation. A friend of mine will hopefully change it for me soon (It is much more complicated that clicking another color on the colors and fonts tab... it is imbedded in the picture, aka- way too complicated for me)

Jun 1, 2009


As you can see my blog got a new outfit... hope you all like! Thanks to Hope and the link on her blog, I was able to find some super cute backgrounds that were a heck of a lot easier to try on that the ones I had been using. I don't do code. I am not a rocket scientist or computer hacker. Give me no more than "copy, paste". However.... the matter of deciding which background was EXTREMELY difficult. I'm talking I have been up for like 3 hours "trying on" backgrounds. If you don't know this about me, I am the most indecisive person who has ever lived. Ask me to make a decision and you better believe I am gonna pull out the "eeny meeny miny mo" on you.

As you can see I finally made a decision (yay me!) and now I am sitting here pondering how bad it would be to get a snack... it is 12:00... I mean, doesn't pregnancy give you free reign to eat without guilt? If I'm hungry, the baby has to be hungry too, right? I can't very well be the sort of woman who starves her baby. His synapses are forming - he needs nutrition. Ah, on the other hand it has been stressed that pregnant women are NOT eating for two and should only gain 30 pounds throughout the entire pregnancy. Crap, another decision. Ok, faithful eeny meeny miny mo. And the winner is - SNACK! Now what to eat... oh geez, this is too complicated. I wish I could pay someone to make decisions for me. Ok, I'm gonna go grab some low-fat string cheese and pickles and call it a night. Don't laugh. It's quite delectable.

In all other news things are great. Still talking to Jeff daily. Oh that reminds me! I have big news! Adam called Jeff tonight! I wanted him to call and explain his point of view so that maybe the two of them could come to some sort of understanding. After they talked Adam called me and I picked up the phone to "Jessica, I absolutely forbid you to ever talk to that guy again." WHAT??? Then the throws in the "just kidding!" Ugh, not funny. He then proceeded to rave about Jeff. He was like "he seems like a very intelligent super nice guy. I would love for you to go to Nashville and visit him." Ah, I probably didn't share that I had called off the trip when Adam and I got into a big fight about it. Now he is begging me to go. Strange, but I'm not going to argue! Jeff and I have discovered we are both 80's movie finatics so I am totally pumped to hang out and watch The Breakfast club over some Doritos and ranch dip. As a little sister I feel it my responsibility to share the glorious-ness of this snack. If you have never tried nacho cheese Doritos with ranch dip you haven't lived. It's my total fav. Not the store bought ranch though. You have to buy the Hidden Valley ranch dip mix and make it yourself.

Anyway, things seem to be falling into place. If only Adam didn't have to leave... things would be perfect. I am miserable without him. You just don't even know. You get so used to having someone next to you that when they aren't there you feel empty. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. It helps having Abby in the bed. She sleeps with me everynight - right next to my face usually. Its kinda cute. While I love a white poof ball hindering my oxygen intake, it would be nice to have my husband there. Abby doesn't do quite the same job of holding me when I feel crappy or cuddling next to me when I get cold. I miss him so much....

On a lighter note I do get to see him in a few days!!! They get the night of June 8th off and then June 9th is family day, and then we head to Madison to spend 4 days together. He has to be back on Saturday the 13th at 8pm. The day before our 1 year anniversary. But its ok. We already gave the top of our wedding cake to his parents so they could keep it for us to eat that day that he leaves. It will be hard but somehow I will find the strength to get through it. I have to - for his family and for the baby. I've read stress can be extremely detrimental for a baby in the womb. I just have to trust in God that he will bring him back to me safely.


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