Dec 30, 2009

Its Getting Better All The Time

Well, I still can't say that I am over the baby blues, but its still getting better each day. I did have a little mini melt down yesterday about MC's sleeping, but I just decided after much advice, reading, and research to chill out until she is 6 weeks old. According to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, babies dont really develop a sleep pattern until they are about 6 weeks old. Apparently until then I just need to kick back, relax, and let her sleep when she wants. (Of course this is much more easily said than done... I am an organizational freak as we all know. I need a schedule. I need a play by play of how the day is going to go. MC doesnt exactly allow for that at this point. She doesnt have a particular time she naps during the day. She is still kinda all over the place - this doesnt allow me to make a schedule -this drives me crazy.) I am really hoping that in two weeks or so she'll settle into her little pattern and I can develop a schedule for us! Speaking of, what time should she be put to bed? When I go to bed (9 or 10), or earlier at like 7 or something? Or do you wait for the super early bedtime when they get older?? Suggestions?

Adam is also doing fine. We are still able to talk on the computer and see each other on the webcam. I usually end up showing MC to him each day. Poor baby girl is going to spend the first 3 months of her life with a webcam shoved in her face... oh well. Daddy has to see her. Maybe I am conditioning the world's next oscar winner ;)

I was watching videos of her birth and time and the hospital this evening. Its crazy how much she has changed since then. I have a feeling these next few months are going to fly by (which is JUST fine with me! The sooner time goes by, the quicker I get to be with Adam for good!) I can't wait until our little family is back together!

MC and I are taking our first big outing tomorrow. My mom is driving us to Starkville to meet Adam's mom who will then take us to Jackson. We will be staying there for the weekend so "nanna" and "poppy" can get some much needed time with Maggie Claire. Should be interesting to see how she reacts to the different environment! I also can't wait for our dog Indy to meet her!! She's been living with Adam's parents while he's been gone so he has yet to meet our new addition! I'll be sure to post pics when we get back! Until then, take a look at our beautiful little girl! She was one month old on Monday :)

Dec 20, 2009

Bye Bye Blues?

Okay, so I feel as though I have done a complete 180 since my last post. I have now gone three days without crying and I have actually eaten at least one meal every day. Things are looking up.

I am starting to feel much closer to Maggie Claire now, which makes me feel AWESOME. I look at her and smile now - not cry. I'm not sure if its the medicine kicking in, talking with a counselor, others prayers, or the fact that my mother has handled the early morning feedings the past two nights so I could get some rest. Either way, I feel refreshed, recharged, and actually happy.

Maggie Claire is doing well too. Its amazing how alert she is now. She will follow voices and is completely enthralled with certain objects like the mobile on her swing and some of the toys I bought for her. I wish Adam was here to see how much she has changed and grown in a matter of one week. Speaking of Adam, I am starting to feel better about that situation too. I had come to grips with things while I was pregnant and thought I was doing a pretty good job dealing with him being gone. However, after he left this time I didn't think I would ever stop crying. It was heart wrenching. I guess its much like everything else in life though and gets better with time. Don't get me wrong, I still miss him terribly, but I am slowly regaining my previous strength in dealing with it.

I want to extend a thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I truly appreciate all of your throughts and prayers. They are probably the reason I am feeling better today. I will continue to keep you posted with how things are going!

PS - First funny baby story: So, MC was in her pack and play and it was almost time to feed her so I thought I would change her diaper. WOOO! BIG STINKY! As I am wiping her cute little poopy bottom, she starts tee-teeing everywhere! Wonderful. Here I am, poopy wipe in hand trying to catch the pee pee which is now pooling up beneath her (Yes, I still had her diaper under her bottom, but since it was poopy, I had it closed under her... the pee pee just ran right down the incline it created) As if this wasn't interesting enough, Maggie Claire then spits up. I have no hands left. The spit up starts running down the side of her face and into her ear. Are you kidding me? Tell me there are no more holes for anything to come out of! Needless to say, I stripped her down and she got her bath early that night...

Dec 17, 2009

Whats the Deal Brooke Shields?

Alright. I am not going to sugar coat it. Having a baby is tough.

I remember hearing all about Brooke Shields after she had her baby and came out with the fact that she suffered from post partum depression. I thought to myself "how in the world could you be depressed after something like that?!You have been given a gorgeous, healthy baby! What is wrong with you woman??" I know now. I have pondered for a while about whether or not I should post about this, but with the way I am feeling, I know I would appreciate hearing about someone else's problems to know that I am not alone. Maybe someone will stumble upon this and see that, no, you are not alone...

If you have never had a child, you might find it very difficult to understand where I am coming from. I know before I had Maggie Claire I didn't understand it either. I always thought women who got depressed after they had their children were just the ones who didn't want their babies in the first place, but that is DEFINATELY not the case. I wanted MC so badly it killed me. I have never been so elated in my entire life as when I found out we were pregnant. Throughout my entire pregnancy I was thrilled that soon I would be holding my sweet angel. However, all of these fantasies were not exactly fulfilled the way I expected.

You imagine all of these scenarios when you are pregnant and when things don't work out that way its very troubling. The delivery might be where it started. I got an epidural thinking I wouldn't feel much of anything, but it wore off before I delivered. I felt everything. It was exruciating pain. I pushed for over an hour. I won't go into the other details, but it was rough. I was so exhausted and in such pain afterwards that I barely wanted to see MC. I immediately felt like the most horrible mother to ever live.

After Adam and I got home I was still in constant pain. I had problems with my stitches and had to go to the ER at 1:30 in the morning a few days after we got home. It was like one thing after another. I was exhausted and stressed and couldn't stop crying. I gave up breastfeeding. I just couldn't deal with the stress. Again, I felt like the most horrible mother to ever live.

In addition to all of these things, I had to deal with the fact that Adam, the love of my life and my right hand man in helping with MC, was leaving. I really felt like I was going to completely lose it. I had knots in my stomach everyday. I didn't eat. I cried and cried and cried. I didn't think I would ever feel like myself again.

I am stating all of this information in the past tense if you haven't noticed.... the reason? I think I am getting better. I still don't completely feel like myself, but I ate today and didn't cry. That is huge. My family has been amazing in helping me - both literally and emotionally. I have leaned on several cousins for support and advice and my parents have been a God send. I am hanging in there. I miss Adam terribly, but I know I have to be strong. I pray that each day it will get easier, as I think it has. Its slightly embarrassing discussing this with the world, but as I said, I felt very alone and ashamed in the beginning of all of this, and I desperately needed to know that it is normal and I was NOT the only one who had these types of feelings. Maybe I can help someone else.

As I said, I think it will get a little easier each day, and I plan on posting regularly since it is very therapeutic. Please keep MC and I in your prayers. Even when the baby blues let up, I will still deal with the pain of missing Adam. Thanks for your thoughts and comments and hopefully the next post will be more uplifting!

Dec 10, 2009

Miss America look out!

So I suppose I am a little biased, but I really do think Maggie Claire is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen! I mean just look at her! I am one proud momma, I have to say!!!

Dec 3, 2009

Margaret Claire Elizabeth Martin Is Here!

First chance I've had to actually sit and do something since we got home! Short post, will post details when I have time (Maybe that might be sometime this year! haha)

Maggie Claire was born at 5:41pm on Monday November 30th. She weighed 7 pounds and 13 ounces and was 21 inches long. I might be biased, but I truly think she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. She and I are both doing well, and Adam and I are just trying to get in a routine and get some rest which doesnt look like it will happen anytime soon!

Nov 29, 2009

Big Day!

Today is the day! (Well, I guess TECHINICALLY its tomorrow) We go to the hospital at midnight tonight. I can't believe we are about to meet Maggie Claire and become parents! Having Adam here has been the most amazing blessing! I am so thankful he will be there to experience all of this! Just wanted to update everyone - hopefully sometime tomorrow we will have a healthy baby girl!! When I get home and things settle down I will post pics!

Nov 25, 2009

All Is Well

Quick update... Adam made it in safely! Of course I bawled my eyes out upon seeing him (but didn't go into labor!!haha). Other people at the airport must've noticed his camo bag (since he wasn't in uniform) and figured out the situation and also started crying. It was really touching. Anyway, we are both doing well!!! He hasn't been able to take his hands off the belly since he's been here which is fine with me!!! We are just enjoying being around each other and looking forward to meeting Maggie Claire!

Away We Go!

So I am just a few hours from picking up Adam at the airport. I can barely keep it together. As I have already mentioned thousands of times, I just cannot believe how God has blessed us!!! I NEVER imagined things to work out so well for us and our situation with Maggie Claire!!! I do have one fear though....

Yesterday I was having A LOT of contractions and pressure. I guess it was from all the excitement of the day! I am seriously hoping I can #1-make it to the airport without going into labor, and #2- make it out of the airport without going into labor! The last thing I want is for my water to break when I see Adam walk through the gate! What a nice homecoming - "Oh honey I'm so glad to see... oh wait, hold that thought, we gotta go to the hospital." Poor Adam needs a little time to rest before rushing all over the place and welcoming a new baby! Anyway, God has seen us through this far, I just pray he continues to watch over us and keeps Maggie Claire nice and cozy for at least one more day!

I tell you what, I don't think Thanksgiving has ever meant so much to me. Yes, we all have things to be thankful for, but my gifts this year are waaaaay beyond anything I could have imagined. "Thankful" doesn't even begin to cover it. I hope that through this blog at least one person has realized God's greatness. I know it can be so difficult to see Him working in our own lives, so I hope you have seen Him working in mine. Had I never come to build such a relationship with Him though, I don't know if things would've worked out so well for me. Only when I began to truly trust in Him and turn my worries over, did amazing things start to happen. I beg all of you to keep your faith and know that God will take care of you - just look at us!!!! An impossible situation has turned out more perfectly than I ever could've fathomed!

I'll try to keep the updates coming, as I said earlier! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Nov 24, 2009

Beep Beep!

So this morning about 1:45am I thought I heard my phone beep with a text message. I was in and out of sleep so I wasn't sure if I heard correctly so I just rolled over and ignored it. Well, later when I got up (about 5:30) I was checking my email and saw the most amazing thing - a message from Adam saying he was on his way HOME!!!!!!!!!! He wasn't supposed to leave until tomorrow, but plans changed and now he is on his way!!!!!! I just can't believe it! I am so excited I could just burst!!!! I guess I won't be blogging for a while since every waking moment will be spent with him when he gets here (I'm not even joking people... I am not going to let that man out of my sight the whole time he is here! He will be sick of me after his two weeks are up!!) God is soooooooooo amazing and I don't know how in the world I have been so blessed!!! Please continue to pray for Adam's safe arrival and I'll try to keep short updates coming!!!

Nov 23, 2009

Miss Maggie Has A Birthday!!!

Well, I just got home from the doctor with WONDERFUL news!!! We are 70% thinned and 1cm dialated! The best part? We have scheduled our induction!!! YAY!!! I go into the hospital Sunday night so hopefully by Monday we will have a baby!!!! I just had to update all of you! I will post more throughout the week I'm sure!! I cant hardly contain the excitement!!!

Almost There!!!

38 weeks!!! Woo hoo!!! As I mentioned earlier, I'm hoping that this time next week we are holding our new little girl!! I was so stressed about my doctor's appointment today I don't think I slept a wink (well, not that that is anything new..) I kept having this nightmare that he said he would not induce for any reason and we'd just have to wait until she decided to come and Adam never got to meet her! It was horrible. Anyway, just keeping my fingers crossed he WON'T say that today!!! I'll be sure to post after the appointment, good news or bad!

Nov 22, 2009

A New Life Starts Next Week

Well, here we are. Closing in on the long road that has led to a beautiful little baby girl. I really can't believe that this time next week Adam and I could be together holding Maggie Claire. Its unreal.

Sometimes I really don't know if I can contain all the excitement I am feeling right now. One of our dear friends, Jordan, who graciously reads my blog commented that he remembered how he felt the night before Christmas. He was right when he said its probably nothing compared to how I feel right now. There aren't even words. Having a new baby is momentous enough, but having a baby at the same time that my husband (who I havent seen in six months!) will be coming home is just too much to take in. It's like all of God's glorious gifts and blessings are being thrown at me at one time, and the goodness is almost enough to make my heart explode.

Adam will be getting into town by the end of this week... hopefully Friday, but maybe Saturday. Then, the plan is for us to induce that Monday. Now, I realize that with a baby you can't plan ANYTHING, but I should know more after my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I am just praying that even if I haven't thinned or dialated we can still go ahead and induce on Monday as we originally planned. Adam is only here for two weeks and I want him to be able to spend as much time as possible with Maggie Claire. The more days we wait for her to come, the less days he gets to be around her. I'm feeling confident that she is waiting on daddy to come though. In the beginning I just had this feeling that she was going to come early and Adam wouldn't be here. However, now that we are approaching his arrival, I think she is hanging in there for him. She just has to stay put another 7 days or so and he will be here to experience all the joy (and screaming) of seeing his first child being born. Wow, what an amazing gift.

Now the downside to all this... I have a whole week to sit and think about Adam's and MC's arrival! Ah! Saturday was my last day of work, so now I have an entire week of doing nothing and I pray the days don't drag out!!! Don't get me wrong, I am greatly looking forward to having some time to myself to rest and relax before my whole life is turned upside down. However, I worry that it will make for some long, anxious days. I wonder what the record is for the number of hours on facebook? Or the record number of blog posts for a day? I might very well be a new record holder by the end of the week...

Well, keep us in your prayers as I head to the doctor tomorrow. Pray we can still induce on the 30th, even if we haven't done anything, so that Adam and MC can have all the bonding time possible!!! And, as Thanksgiving approaches, I want to give a special thanks to all of you who read this blog. I never imagined I would have more than one or two people even glancing at it, but all of your comments, prayers, and encouraging words have done wonders to help me make it through these past few months!! Thanks to all of you guys and I hope you keep reading as baby really does make three!!!

Nov 20, 2009

Seriously, Some People Are Crazy

Well I have to say that today was a very interesting day. I work all day Wednesdays and Thursdays so I was looking forward to some much needed R&R before I head to work tomorrow. I rolled out of bed (literally) around 7:45 and took it nice and slow enjoying my breakfast, checking facebook - the usual. Adam got online a little later and I got to have a nice long chat with him which was great considering his work schedule changed and we haven't been able to talk much lately. So after my shower I headed to Wal-Mart with mom to get some much needed groceries to prepare for Adam and the in -laws arrival next week (SOOO exciting!). Can I just say, I literally saw myself as Natalie Portman in "Where the Heart Is"? (AKA, the lady who has her baby in Wal-Mart). I mean I am 38 weeks now and Maggie Claire has dropped into position. Walking through that store, I literally felt like she was going to fall out on the floor right in the middle of the Wheat Thins and Keebler cookies. It was miserable. However, there was a VERY hilarious woman who brightened my day. Picture this if you will....

I go into the restroom as soon as we walk into Wal-Mart (yes, this is nothing unusual). As I walk in, mind set on task at hand, I pass an older African American woman wearing the quintessential "I'm-elderly-but-want-to-look-cool" outfit... aka- outdated leopard print blouse and black pants. I even think I remember her sporting a black hat of some sort... Anyway, to add to the hilarity of the situation, this poor woman has bright coral lipstick covering not only her lips, but the entire outside of her lips as well (think little girl playing dress up for the first time...) Now, all of this is perfectly normal considering I am in Florence, AL in a Wal-Mart restroom. Then, it turns interesting. As my eyes now focus on the empty stall that lay before me, I rush past the woman only to be caught completely off guard by the following statement "Yous having a boy aint ya?". Excuse me? I swung around to face the lipstick lady and responded "oh, no ma'm. We're having a girl." The following short conversation ensued:

lady " Oh ok. Yous holding a lot of water ain ya?"

me (completely taken aback by the statement) "umm, yeah I guess so" I took her comment to mean I looked a little "fluffy"... nice....

lady "my little neice just had a baby. She had a boy..."

It trails at this point because however rude it might have been, after the "retaining water" statment I smiled and went into the stall. She still kept talking but drowned out after the flush. I guess she got the point and headed off to harass some other person. Seriously. She did. I walked out to find mom only to pass my bathroom buddy chatting it up with some Wal-Mart employee who looked equally as confused and desperate as I probably had in the restroom.

Well, while I did expect MC to make her way into the world in the middle of aisle 5, she hung in there and we headed back home. We had to rush to get things out of the car because I had bought tickets to see New Moon, and time was getting close. I knew mom hadn't been sucked in to the Twilight drama, so I bought her a ticket to see Blind Side while I watched Edward and Jacob battle it out for Bella. Her movie started about 40 minutes before mine so we had to get there early. I'll tell ya what - I'm glad we did!!! Holy crap! The line to get into the movie was already out the door when I got there! Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled about standing there with psycho teeny boppers for God knows how long, but I made it. Perfect scenario? The kind people in line let the pregnant woman scoot to the front. Did it happen? Of course not. Oh well. It wasn't nearly as bad as the little teenage dirt bag working the ticket taking post...

Yes, I know the movie workers are all stressed out right now. Its a big crowd and I'm sure it gets crazy. However, don't give me lip. I am pregnant and not in the mood for your crap. Let me explain. After waiting forever in line to even get into the theatre, I had to find a seat. I was lucky to get a good one, although it wasn't on the end. This is a problem when you have to go to the restroom every 20 minutes. Anyway, I went right before the movie started thinking I would be able to make it. Yeah... didn't happen. So I have to crawl through the people on my row AGAIN, waddle down the stairs AGAIN, and make it to the restroom outside. These first two trips happened without incident. Then, on lucky trip number three, I come out of the restroom and walk by the "I-only-wish-I-had-facial-hair" guy. He stops me and says "uh, I need to see your stub to let you back in." Are you kidding me? Did you really not remember the fat pregnant woman who has come in and out of the theatre twice already? I mean, I'm kinda hard to miss. I said "well, um I don't have it. I left my purse inside." He then responds "Oh, well you'll need to go back and get it." I (getting slightly irritated) then said "you want me to go inside, get the stub, and come back out??" Let's think about this rationally. It was a freaking act of congress for my fat butt to even make it out of my seat... now you want me to go back inside, do it all again, show you my stupid piece of paper, then go back inside and do it YET AGAIN?! I wanted to slap the guy. He must've picked up on the frustration in my last question and finally said "oh forget it. Just go in". You're damn right I will! I mean crap, who tries to sneek into a movie being shown right in front of the ticket post with only about 20 minutes left in the whole movie??? Ugh.

Well, good thing is, Maggie Claire stayed put long enough for me to see the movie. Every since I found out I was pregant, I have been telling her she has to stay in there long enough for me to make it to New Moon. Good girl. Sad part is, I was disappointed! Am I the only one? I just wasn't impressed. Granted, I did think Kristen looked way better in this film than the last one, but I guess the movie just didn't stack up to the book for me. I thought the first one was way better. Sad. Maybe Eclipse will be great and make up for it. Thoughts?

Got to get up early for work tomorrow so I need to get to bed. Hope everyone has a happy Saturday!!

Nov 19, 2009

Are We Done Yet?

I feel like a little kid in the back of the car on a family roadtrip. Except my line isn't "are we there yet?", its "are we done yet?". These past few weeks have seriously been the worst of the whole pregnancy. Forget the constant nausea I had the first three months - I think this is worse. Add together: the anticipation of meeting our new one, constant backaches, endless trips to the restroom, being generally uncomfortable all day every day, no sleep (as attributed to all of the above mentioned) and crazy pelvic pressure... what do you get? That's right - miserable. Everytime I even bend over I feel like little MC is going to fall out on the floor. Granted, I know thats not really going to happen (wouldn't it be cool if thats all it took to get a baby out though?!) but it still feels that way. I also have no one to complain to!!! Adam isn't here so when we do talk, I don't want to bother him with all my aches and pains. I mean, the man is in Iraq without any comforts at ALL! I can't complain about carrying our precious child! So that leaves you, blog readers, to be the recipients of my vented frustrations! Aren't you lucky?!

I try to keep in mind that we are right there are the end of this incredible journey, but the days really do seem to drag on and on now. I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog's Day or something. Each day comes, but low and behold it is only a repeat of the day before and I am not getting anywhere! I could really use one of these right now

Speaking of.... have you guys heard of Fre? Its non-alcoholic wine! No, I'm not talking about grape juice. Its really wine, made my the manufacturers of Sutter Home. Somehow the have figured out how to remove the alcohol, but keep the flavor intact. They have different classic flavors (white, merlot, white zinfandel) that are supposed to taste like the real deal, but don't have the alcohol. Amazing huh? I bought a bottle in hopes that pretending to drink might do the trick to solve my pregnancy woes, but I have been too afraid to try it! Im sure since it doesn't have alcohol its fine for pregnant women, but I totally chickened out anyway. I mean, what if it isnt pasturized or something? Maybe I should call the doc and see if its ok...

Well, hope everyone has a great rest of the week! The weekend is almost here (well for most of you! I, however, get to work Saturday. It will be my last day at work though!). I am ready for a week of total laziness and relaxation next week!

Nov 17, 2009

Hanging Tough

Well, the doctor checked me yesterday and we still aren't dialated! I have to admit that when he came in I said "ok doc, you better tell me this baby has done something cause I don't know if I can do this anymore - I want her OUT!" However, being the good daughter she is, she is waiting on daddy to get home I think :) I go back again next Monday and if I haven't dialated at all I am going to see what our options are. Adam is supposed to be here by the end of next week and we were planning on inducing on November 30th. If I haven't dialated by then, I don't know if he will still go ahead and induce, or if he will want us to wait. I hope we can go ahead and induce because I want Adam to have as much time as possible with MC. (The perfect scenario as it plays out in my mind? For Adam to make it home on Friday the 27th, and for me to just go into labor on Saturday night. How perfect would that be? haha. Well, its all up to Miss Maggie so we'll see what she decides! Hopefully I won't get too excited when we pick Adam up at the airport and go into labor!)

Things are going well though. I am completely miserable (as stated over a thousand times), but hanging in there. Ready to meet this little one! Please pray for Adam's safe return home next week!!!!

Nov 16, 2009

Yeah, 18 days, wow....

If you have ever been pregnant I'm sure you feel my absolute shock when I say that we have 18 days until our due date. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? That is insane! On one hand it does feel like I've been pregnant forever, but on the other, these past few weeks have FLOWN by. Everytime I get mom to do my weekly belly picture I say "wow, didn't we just do this?". Anyway, I've got my weekly appointment today so we'll see if we've made any progress. I am 37 weeks now, but still hoping she is hanging out for Adam. I do have to share a little secret though....while I do tell her and pray everyday that she waits for Adam, in the back of my mind it wouldn't hurt my feelings if she came right now! I am just so uncomfortable and ready for this baby to come out!!! I have to take it day by day or otherwise I don't know if I could make it. I know it will all be worth it in the end, but I suppose thats difficlut to realize when you have to roll to get up and feel like you're carrying a bowling ball between your legs.

So last night I had a major reminiscing fest. As I'm sure I've mentioned multiple times, I do not sleep at night. So instead of getting in bed and just laying there as I usually do, I decided to bust out the video camera and watch some home movies (We've had this camera for like 2 years and still haven't transfered all the video to the computer!) Anyway, I watched the surprise deployment party I threw for Adam, some clips from our trip to Chicago, hanging out with friends at our house, and Christmas at his parents, my parents, and on the coast. I don't think the smile left my face for the whole 2 hours I was absorbed at the computer. It was amazing to remember how life was when Adam was here. How happy we were. And, sadly, how much we took it for granted. We were so carefree and had no idea how perfect everything was. While I do still think we are extremely blessed, that point in our lives was truly amazing. I hope that this separation allows Adam and I to never take our time together for granted again! I love him and miss him so much and I can't believe he will be home in less than 2 weeks!!!!!

Before I head off to start the day, I have to share the cutest thing. My aunt told me about this little conversation yesterday and I couldn't stop laughing. Little kids' minds are just amazing. So at the family Thanksgiving while Emily was looking at my belly she told my aunt Lisa that she wanted to take out Maggie Claire and play with her. Lisa said "well we can't do that because we want Adam to be here before she comes." To this the brilliant Emily replied "Well, can't we just take her out and play with her and then put her back before he gets home?" hahaha. So adorable. I must admit that I am right there with Emily in her line of thinking though - I wish I could take MC out, hold her and snuggle her (and get some much needed pregnancy relief!), and then just put her back before Adam comes home. Oh well, once again, it will all be worth it when that precious little girl gets here!!! Hope everyone has a great week and I'll post an update after my doctor's appointment! :)

Nov 14, 2009

Food and Thanks

Well our little family Thanksgiving went super well! Jeff and his friend came which was AWESOME - although I'm sure he was a bit overwhelmed with our usual 50 person crew! However, he did survive, so go Jeff! haha. Everyone had a fun night discussing the growing belly and asking me if I was really pregnant or just had a huge basketball stuffed in my shirt...

While everyone enjoyed the belly, I'm not sure it was enjoyed by anyone as much as my sweet Lauren! I think she sat on the couch with me for over an hour just watching and feeling MC move. It was the sweetest thing ever. She would talk to her, put her cheek to my belly, put her hand on it, and get down real close and watch it. She is so precious. At one point I had Lauren, her sister Emily, and my other cousin Kailey all with their hands on my belly watching her. I wanted to tear up it was so beautiful and sweet. Oh, Jeff also got to feel her move! He was saying he had never felt a baby kick before so I said "give me that hand!" haha.

Sweet Lauren giving MC some love!

Getting excited talking about MC

Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!! Another doctor's appointment Monday so we'll see how things are going then! I've had about 5 different people tell me that they have had dreams or just think that she's coming any day now... we'll see!

Nov 10, 2009

Why Do They Say "9 months" When Its Really Ten???

Hello blog readers! Well, yesterday was my weekly doctor's appointment and.... nothing to report! I know I should be jumping up and down screaming from the excitement, but in the back of my mind I can't help but think "this baby is never going to come out..." I am in quite a predicament here. On one hand I want Adam to here to experience the joy and excitement of the birth of our first child, but on the other hand I selfishly want her OUT! haha. I mean seriously, three more weeks of this??? I can barely function right now I am so uncomfortable and tired (as mentioned a hundred and one times so far) , and I can't imagine it only getting worse. Yes, I do tell her to stay put and wait for daddy - but one percent or so of me might be subconsciously wishing for an early debut! I mean, why do they even associate pregnancy with 9 months in the first place? Unless I am totally ignorant (which might very well be the case!), 40 weeks is 10 months of pregnancy! I am currently 36 weeks. There are roughly 4 weeks in a month. 36 divided by 4 is nine. I am nine months pregnant? Seems like it to me. So when you suprpass the 36 week mark you are 9 months and however many weeks pregnant, right? I think its all a farse to trick women. You think, "oh sure, I can do 9 months...", then BAM! Nope, you still have a WHOLE OTHER MONTH!

Anyway, I am also bummed that the doctor isn't going to do any more ultrasounds. I have at least one person a day asking how much she weighs and I just have to say "I have no idea". I mean I would kinda like to know myself. Let's face it - I am not a super big person and I would like to know if I am carrying a 9 pound baby or something. Not that it matters, I know she has to come out not matter what, but I think being able to mentally prepare for that would be helpful. I would also like to know what position she's in and I thought they would too. However, when I asked my doctor about all this he said "Well, she feels like a normal size baby. I don't think you are carrying a super large 9 pound baby by anymeans - I am guessing between 7 and 8 pounds when she delivers. As far as the position, I am almost sure she is head down. I would be very surprised if that was her butt I was feeling during the exam and not her head." I guess he's done this long enough to know what he's talking about, so I'm gonna have to trust him. We'll see how much Maggie Claire weighs when she arrives! I have to disagree with the doctor though, I am not sure she'll weigh that much. I'm thinking barely over 7 pounds at the most. Guesses anyone?

And lastly, here is the 36 week belly. I feel so horrible that most of my belly pictures are me in my MSU athletic shorts. Yes, I do own other shorts, but sadly only one or two of them still fit. The elastic in those MSU shorts is just soooo awesome and stretchy. Doesn't get tight or put a lot of pressure on my stomach which is why I choose to wear them all the time. I told my friend I was going to contact the manufacturer and thank them...

Well, only a few more weeks to go! Hopefully things will continue to go well and Maggie will come into this world a healthy baby! Also, please pray that I can contain my excitment and control myself until Adam gets home!!! I know these next few weeks I am going to be soooo anxious waiting on him to get here!!! Happy Tuesday!!

Nov 8, 2009

Master Plan

Adam and I have always thought we were made for each other. That even before both of us were born, God knew that he was going to put us together. It was all part of His plan. Well, we got to talking about this again last night. How we each felt that our spiritual faith has grown because of each other. I wasn't in the best place when I met Adam. I had come out of a really really bad relationship and while I thought I wanted to try again, I really didn't want anything serious. I didn't have a close relationship with God due to all that was going on in my life. I was very angry and did a lot of questioning. Well, with that being said, Adam was telling me last night that that was one of the things that drew him to me. He saw my troubles and his words last night were "I saw Jesus in you. Not the strong Jesus we typically think of, but more of the Jesus carrying his cross and needing help." Well, then he asked me "What was the guys name who helped Jesus carry the cross?" We both couldn't remember - totally crazy. Anyway, trusty google gave us the answer. Know what his name was? Simon. Know what Adam's name is? Simon. Kinda ironic don't ya think? Here I am as Adam saw me, a struggling Jesus figure, and here he is - Simon - helping to relieve the burden. Of course this led to how great God is and the plan He had for the two of us...

Well, after we finished talking I started thinking about how difficult it is to trust in God at times. We think we have all the answers and when things don't go how we feel they should, we think God has abandoned us. However, we have to realize, its all part of His plan! I feel that every single event that has taken place in our lives has lead us to where we are today for a reason. I started thinking about all of the seemingly pointless events that have completely changed my life and led me to Adam. As I thought of more recent events (like the strange way Kristen and I became roommates and how that led to me meeting Jacob. I will have to post about that one day - its a quite interesting story of God's plan at work.), that led to thinking back further and further until I could go back to the beginning of time. Let me show you what I mean:

My family is Catholic. They have been for as long as anyone can remember. If they had not been Catholic, my parents would not have been Catholic. If they had not been Catholic, I never would've attended a Catholic school. If I had never attended a Catholic school, I never would have met my friend Luciana. If I had never met my friend Luciana, I never would've met Craig. If I had never met Craig, I never would've heard about Mississippi State. If I had never heard about Mississippi State and how great it was, I probably never would've applied there. If I had never applied there I never would've met Kristen. If I had never met Kristen, I never would've met Jacob. If I had never met Jacob, he never would've introduced me to Adam.

Its amazing really. Of course that is the WAAAAY watered down version. There are SO many other things that come into play along with that (if I hadn't of chosen the right people to hang out with in high school I never would've made the good grades I did that allowed me to get out of state tuition waved so I could even afford Mississippi State in the first place, ect. I could go on and on)

Anyway, the point of my rambling? Trust in God. He knows good and well what he is doing. While it may not make a bit of sense to you at the time, it is all part of His plan. If you had told me when I started college that a few years down the road I would be married for a year, become pregnant, have my husband deploy and move back in with my parents, I would say you were nuts. I would've thought, God wouldn't do that to me. I am not strong enough for that. Yet, here I am. I don't understand why things happened the way they did, but I know its for a reason. Somehow all of these events too are going to shape mine and Adam's life and have a profound impact that we can't even yet understand.

I am happy to say that while Adam and I are God's will for one another, I feel he put us together for more reason that just our humanly happiness. I think God put us together so that we could grow closer to Him. And in the end, isn't that what life is all about? Coming closer to and knowing Him. Without Adam I don't know where I would be in my faith. The great thing is, I don't have to think about it. I have him and have grown and learned so much due to his amazing fortitude and spirituality. I admire Adam so much and thank God everyday that he has blessed me far beyond what I feel I would ever deserve! Again, my other point to this rambling is to find that person who does the same thing for you if you haven't already. If you aren't sure about a relationship, think about whether or not they make you strive to be a better person and grow in your relationship with God. For the people who increase our closeness with Him are always part of His plan!

I hope I haven't gotten too deep with this post. Ya know how somedays you just want to jump out of your skin and say "Thank you God!"? It's sad we don't have days like that EVERYDAY, but while it was on my mind I just had to share! Hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great day tomorrow! I've got my weekly doctor's appointment so I'll be sure update when I get out!

Nov 3, 2009

One More Month!

The time is almost here! I can't believe we only have about a month until little Maggie Claire is in our arms!!! I think I mentioned that I have been a crazy person the past few weeks, "nesting". However, for now, everything appears to be done. I feel SO much better! Between getting the last minute things we still needed for her, making sure everything was assembled, putting in the car seats, getting everything washed and put away, organizing all of her necessities, and packing the hosptial bag, I am EXHAUSTED! All of this in addition to my daily routines of working, writing thank you notes, running errands, getting together and sending packages for Adam, and doctor's appointments. Poor baby girl isnt even here yet and I already need a break! haha

Another good thing about the time approaching for Maggie? I GET TO SEE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!! I mean, seriously, does it get any better than that? I get a baby AND my hubby! He is set to leave for his R & R at the end of November. Its taken some guys as many as 5 days to get home, so he should be here by our tentative induction date. However, if things go well, he might be here earlier.

I cannot describe the feelings that have been swirling in my head. It has been approximately 5 months since I have seen Adam (and when he gets here it will have been 6 months). I worry about things being kinda weird when we are together again, but I'm sure thats to be expected. I mean, we will have to sort of get used to each each other all over again. (And sadly, by the time we do, it will be time for him to leave again). I am also worried about sending him back. It was hard enough to let him go the first time. I cant even imagine what it will be like holding two week old Maggie as we watch him get on that plane. Well, I can't focus on that. If I did, I would never fully enjoy our time together and I can tell you I am going to enjoy every SECOND of it!! No thoughts or worries about what is to come. I am going to live in the moment and cherish how lucky I am. Sounding very positive and optimistic aren't I? Yes, its a new kick of mine... haha. Seriously though, I have gone through some major changes since Adam has been away. I feel like a much stronger, capable, independent person. This might be hard to believe considering my posts reflect a worrisome and weak demeanor. Let's face it though - not many people feel the need to post when things are going well. Its therapudic to posts when things are icky. So on those few days when I am feeling down, I turn to my trusty blog and type away all my insecurities. However, on the other days, I remember what I have already made it through and feel capable to handle whatever else might be thrown my way - I just don't post about it! So readers, rest assured that I am doing fine and will try to post more "go me" updates! haha.

Oh, went to the doctor Monday and happy to report that there is nothing to report!! haha. We had a scare last Wednesday with some serious contractions and intense lower back pain, but I guess it was just stress from work that day. Maggie Claire is (at least for now) still holding out for daddy!! Let's keep our fingers crossed it stays that way!! Happy Tuesday everyone!

Nov 1, 2009

Bare the Belly

Well I had a photo shoot today with my neighbor Tabitha. She did an awesome job and it was so much fun! Here are just a few of my favorites!

Oct 31, 2009

I'm A What?!

So apparently the thought of a new child cues your brain to develop a very hyperactive imagination which, in turn, translates into some intense dreams. Well, nightmares really. Last night I don't think I slept more than 3 or 4 hours. Yes, that is nothing new, given the fact that I am now trying to sleep with a watermelon attached to my abdomen. No, I had trouble sleeping because of these new mommy nightmares. First one? I forgot about my baby! I forgot to feed her and change her. I think I just totally forgot I had a baby all together or something. It was HORRIBLE!!!! I did the initial feeding/changing and then went about my day. Later that night apparently I remembered I had a baby and went to check on her - not good. I obviously freaked out remembering that I hadn't done any of the necessary tasks to tend to her all day long.... I woke up from my nightmare with a racing heart and could barely calm myself enough to lay back down. What kind of mother am I going to be???? Then, after looking at the clock which now read 3:34, I must've dozed back off only to find myself greeted by another horrible nightmare. This one? There was something wrong with MC. Now, don't laugh, because it might sound ridiculous, but when in deep REM we all know the most ridiculous things can bring on a lot of fear. She had a super huge head and a tiny little body. You're probably thinking "um, Jessica, thats really what newborns look like..." No, I'm not talking about the regular newborn proportions here. I'm talking a regular baby size head on a body the size of an action figure. Totally warped and crazy, I know. However, it simply freaked me out and when I awoke I began imagining all of the horrible things that can go wrong (not the fact that I will have a Stewie baby or something, but more realistic fears. Ya know, that she will come too soon and her lungs won't be developed, or she'll have some rare disease, or... the list goes on and on)

I'm sure there is not an end in sight to these horrible dreams. I'm sure they'll only get worse as the time approaches. I just can't wait for the day she arrives and I can meticulously stand over her and count each little finger and toe and put my mind at ease for at least a moment!

Oct 27, 2009

Baby Shower

So this past weekend my mom had a baby shower for me here in Florence. Everything was wonderful! We had a HUGE turn out and despite the fact that we had to change the location last minute (we were supposed to have it at my cousin Lylie's house, but Lauren and Emily had been running fevers) we got everything all set up and ready to go! I was so touched by how many people came and their generosity! My in-laws drove 5 and a half hours just for the shower, my friend Kristen drove three hours and then had to go straight to work as soon as she got back home, and the list goes on and on! I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends and family!! Here are a few pics - enjoy!
My mom and my friend Jessica M. made this AMAZING diaper cake centerpiece! Isn't it adorable?

The beautiful table

So in addition to diaper cake extraordinaire, Jessica also sews. She made this adorable dress for Maggie Claire (I'm sure she would take orders too!)
A picture of Jessica M. and I... yeah, my stomach is all over her, poor thing.

Kristen and I... being the nice friend she is, she squatted down so I wouldn't look like a total midget! She is like supermodel tall...

So, as you can see, it was a wonderful day! Now, I just can't wait for Maggie to get here! I've gotten everything washed and put away and all I need now is my beautiful little baby in my arms!!

Oct 26, 2009

34 weeks! Woo Hoo!

Well, the belly is taking over. At least it feels that way. Just a few more weeks though and Miss Margaret Claire Elizabeth Martin will be here!!! (And yes, I am a teacher, and yes, I know its going to be a nightmare teaching poor MC how to write her name....)

I also have to add that depression does not even begin to cover the emotion I feel when I see how these MSU shorts fit now as compared to when I started. Take a look for yourself - this is a picture of me at 7 weeks. Sadly, the mean lady was right - I am " so much wider" in my hips and thighs!!! ahh!! I've heard nursing helps you lose all that extra weight quickly so I am praying for a miracle.

Anyway, hope everyone had a happy Monday! If you're like me though, you're already looking forward to the weekend!

Oh, the shower this weekend went wonderfully! I'll post pics soon!

Oct 20, 2009

Lots to Share!

I can't believe it's been so long since I have posted! I have just been SUPER busy with things... well, mostly baby things. Anyway, so many updates! First of all, my mother-in-law had a diaper shower for me in Madison this past weekend and it was wonderful! Maggie Claire got some super cute things and I got lots of diapers and wipes! Here are a few pics...
Mom and I
Of course nana (Adam's mom) had to get some camo for MC! :)

Mom got me, hands down, the cutest diaper bag ever made. Wish the picture did it justice!

To see all the pics, you'll just have to become my friend on facebook! It just takes too long to upload these things! haha.

So second area of updates - my phone. With all of the baby things I have had going on lately, apprently I have lost my mind. Let me set the stage here...I was doing some serious nesting the other day going through all the baby shower gifts, dividing up clothing by sizes, etc. Anyway, I was taking off tags in order to wash everything, so I had a nice little trash pile going. Now, since Adam is gone, I keep my phone by me 24/7 in case he happens to call. Well, apparently I had it a little TOO close to me. I scooped up the "trash pile", put it in a box, and then dumped it all in the garbage can outside. Well, about 5 hours later I was turing in for the night and went to look for my phone so I could set my alarm. Hm, not in the living room. Weird, not in my bedroom. At this point I knew my mind hadnt been the best lately so I proceeded to check EVERY room in the house - even the bathroom. My phone was missing. Of course I tried calling it, but it went straight to my voicemail. Again, this was weird since I knew my phone was fully charged. Well I asked mom if she had seen it around and she said no. Then, she suggested several places to look (which I already had). Then she says to me "do you think it could've gotten in with the garbage?". I highly doubted it, but went and got the trash bag anyway. Low and behold, there was my phone - covered in coca cola and all sorts of other nasty trash things. Needless to say it didn't turn on.

Well, the next day I trotted down the to ATT store to get another phone. I have to say that this always makes me nervous. I am technologically retarded to put it mildly. Adam has an iphone and I steer clear of it. The thing makes me feel like a monkey. Anyway, I loved my razor phone. Yes, it was SUPER old and not "in" so much, but it worked like a champ and did exactly what a phone is supposed to do - call people. I walked in the store with the intent of snagging the first simple looking phone I could find, but Adam's voice kept running through my head. See, he has been begging me to get an iphone since he got his. He goes on and on about the convenience and what not, but I just wasn't convinced. A phone is meant to call people. I can't even figure out how to call people on those damn things. It would be a pointless little black box if I owned one. Anyway, I went to the desk and explained the situation and immediately the associate said "well, we do have our iphones on sale for $99". She did it. She said the magic word - sale. I am very rarely swayed, but if I see or hear the world sale I am all over it. I thought about Adam and had a total Bella Swan moment where I heard Adam in my head saying "honey, PLEASE get the iphone!! We can talk to each other anywhere if you get one! They are even on sale! PLEASE!!!" So I gave in. I am now the owner of a pointless little black box. Well, I take that back. I have learned how to make calls.... and download applications.

Which brings me to my next point... I might be starting to second guess my previous thoughts about this iphone. For instance, today at work the power went out. I know, right? I was sitting there for an hour and a half alone in the dark with no power (I am the only one who works on Tuesdays. I go in and answer the phone, confirm patients, etc.) ANYWAY, after about 30 mintues of staring at the wall I was like - oh wait, I have internet and stuff on this phone... maybe I can find something to do. Well, I did. I played with the phone and was quite entertained. Then, the best part - I had to go to the bathroom. Well, I know that may not seem like something grand, but bare with me, I have a point. So I went into the restroom which has no windows and of course it was pitch black. I was like "man, I could really use a flashlight right now" Then I remembered (this is where you see the little cartoon light bulb flash over my head) that I have an iphone which has all sorts of weird applications. There has to be a flashlight or something... yup. Go me is all I can say. I totally downloaded a flashlight application in the midst of a power outage in order to use the restroom. It was fantastic. I felt like I should receive a medal or something.

So besides the baby shower, getting the make-me-feel-stupid phone, and having a fun day at work in the dark, not much else is going on. Oh, well I do have some good news to report. Went to the doctor and only gained 2 pounds this time! YAY - no tears! haha. I am going every two weeks now so that is only a pound a week. Not horrible. I also mentioned to the doctor that I had been having a lot of pressure recently so he checked me out just to be sure everything was ok. He said the baby is low, but I haven't started to dialate or anything yet which is good news. Miss Maggie May has got to stay put until daddy gets home in November!

Hope I haven't bored you to tears with my random updates! Hope you all have a happy hump day tomorrow!!! I am off to get myself all psyched up for biggest loser in a few hours! haha.

33 Weeks Already!

Here are the newest belly pics! It's been forever since I have written, but I am going to try to get around to it later today! Until then, enjoy the mound that is now my tummy! ;)

Oct 15, 2009

A Tale of Two Showers

So first of all I had a horrible fat pregnant lady moment this morning (Or an old woman moment - can't decide). I actually slipped getting out of the shower. You hear about this all the time - old person slips in the shower and breaks a hip. However, very rarely does the potential catastrophic nature of the incident hit you utnil you have something to worry about should you slip. As young adults, we slip, we fall, we get up. (This usually involves laughter at some point) Anyway, its simple. However, now that I am quite pregnant, I have begun to realize the sheer terror of the "shower slip".

So, it had been a successful endeavor so far. (Any shower which involves me being able to pick my foot up to the point of washing it is considered highly rewarding.) I happily opened the door and stuck my foot out to step on the mat, when - SQUEEEEEEK. My foot that remained in the shower slipped (probably due to me leaning over a bit and the weight of the belly). Anyway, thank goodness I was holding onto the door. I managed to catch myself before I went belly first to the ground. I stood there for a moment thinking - man, that was lucky. Then, I went to carefully remove my remaining foot from the shower. Thats when I felt the pain and the thought came "oh lord, I am officially a big fat pregnant lady. I have just pulled something in my leg trying to catch myself from slipping in the shower..." Geez.

I have been having major back pain so I figured with my little spastic fall this morning I should call trusty Dr. M for a chiropractic adjustment. I mean I was hobbling around like a 90 year old this morning attempting to finish getting ready for work. However, since my luck is about zilch right now, of course I would happen to get hurt on a Thursday - the one day they are closed. Oh happy day. I won't be able to get to see them until Monday due to my little venture this weekend...

Which ironically is a perfect segway into shower number two (hence the title for this post). This is a happy shower though -a baby shower! Yay! My wonderful mother-in-law is throwing a diaper shower for me in Madison this weekend. I hate to admit this, but I had never heard of a diaper shower. Apparently guests bring anything and everything related to diapers as gifts - actual packages of diapers, wipe warmers, diaper genies, etc. I think it will be super fun and SUPER helpful! I'm sure I haven't even begun to absorb exactly how many diapers a baby goes through.

On a completely different note, I forgot to mention a super funny story in my last post. Remember how I took care of Lauren and Emily over the weekend? So, while we were at church together Sunday, Lauren had me all but rolling on the floor laughing (great timing, I know). We were sitting down and Lauren had her head on my shoulder. Well about that time, Maggie Claire was really getting into the music or something and started doing a little belly dance. My stomach was jumping all over the place. Lauren must've been watching my belly because all of a sudden she turned and looked up at me with these "deer in headlights" eyes. I couldn't help but laugh. I smiled at her and whispered "is Maggie moving?". Her mouth dropped open and she just started shaking her head up and down. Needless to say, my belly was of much more interest the rest of the mass than what the priest was saying...haha.


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