Well, isn't time for a bumpdate quite yet but I had to share my relief. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and, I'll be honest, I was bracing for the worst. These last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. Almost as hard as when Adam left for Iraq (yes, its that bad). Adam and I have both been under an insane amount of stress and I know that isn't good for little one. I try my best to mellow out but the tears fall quite often. I'm sure the hormones don't help.
With that being said, it was a HUGE blessing to hear sweet Bean's heartbeat today. 159 bpm and going strong - PRAISE GOD!!! I have lost a little weight but she said she wasn't too concerned. If losing a pound or two are the only repercussions of the last few weeks, I'll take it.
I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog anymore, but prayers could certainly be used if you could spare a few. I KNOW God will take care of us, as He has proved that to me time and time again, but we are in one of the most difficult times we have encountered in quite a while.
I am proud to say that during all this stress, I couldn't imagine having anyone else by my side. My husband is amazing. Truly. We've gotten through trials before and we'll get through this - I guess I just feel it doesn't hurt to have a few family members and friends put in a good word for you with the Big Guy though ;)
We've still got another big undertaking today that could determine a lot - either reducing or inducing a great load of stress. I pray it goes well. I know God's Will will be done, and I'm trying to accept that. That's never an easy thing to do - I don't care who you are.
Despite everything being thrown our way, I also know we will take something from it. The Lord has shown us a lot about ourselves, our relationship, and our faith. He has taught us lessons in humility, love, endurance, patience, and poverty - and boy has he beat that last one to death. Ha. However I know that one day we won't sit up at night wondering how bills will be paid. Instead, we will sit up at night thinking about how we can best help others who are now wondering how bills will be paid. Maybe that's what we take from all this - a great big lesson in generosity and charity. I'll gladly climb any mountain if it means I become a better person; and I think that's the sum of God's plan. To make us better people. He presents us with constant opportunities for growth and change and we need to use them for just that - not for an opportunity to develop more hate, anger, and disappointment.
God is good and life is good and as corny as this might be, I try to always remember the line from Gary Allen song which says "life aint always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride." A ride it is, and I know if I stick with it, I will have something even more beautiful to look forward to when its done.