Jun 14, 2009

What a Week

Let me start by saying that this has been the most emotional week I have ever had. As most of you know, Adam was on pass this past week before they deploy. I'll give you the rundown of events ...

Monday (8th)
I left Florence in the morining and drove the 5 and a half hours to Hattiesburg to see Adam for the first time in 3 weeks (I am sooo not counting my last trip as "seeing him" since most of you know what happened on that trip!) It was amazing seeing him again. We got a hotel since he had to be back on post at 6am the next morning. We had dinner with our friends Chris and Jennifer and got to just catch up, hang out, and relax which was totally nice. I slept better that night that I have slept in a long time


Tuesday (9th)
This was family at Camp Shelby. Adam's parents met me at the hotel and we drove to base for the ceremony. It was excrushiatingly hot but we managed. All the guys were lined up in formations on the parade field and they explained the history, sang the national anthem, and a few people spoke like Haley Barbour. It was a nice ceremony. I almost lost it when the helicopters flew over the field and everyone applauded. Anyway, after that we all went to Adam's grandmother's house to visit her for a while and then drove back to Jackson. That night we went out with Ryan to target where I got a nice maternity bathing suit. I got black. Its slimming right? Yeah, not so much when you have a melon in your stomach... Later we went to Ryan's house and watched Gran Torino. OH MY GOSH. That is hands down the most emotional movie I have ever seen. I suppose it doesn't help that I am a little emtionally insane right now, but this movie was ridiculous. It was totally good, but I could barely hold myself together.


Wednesday (10th)
Adam and I spent the day just hanging out and enjoying our time with each other. It was such a blessing to be able to just be with each other for a while. We went to see that X-Men Wolverine movie and I was shocked that I really liked it. I NEVER thought it would be a move I would get into but Adam wanted to see it and there was no way I was going to say no. The poor guy is going to the middle of no where for a year - the least I could do was watch 120 minutes of Hugh Jackman. Anyway, like I said, turned out to be awesome.


Thursday (11th)
We had an awesome time hanging out with our friends Matthew and Allyson. We FINALLY got to see their adorable baby! He is 9 months old now and completely precious. We went swimming and then came back later and ate dinner with them.


Friday (12th)
My parents made it to Jackson a little after 12. We all sat around and had gumbo and then went to the Natural Science Museum. They were starting an exhibit called Monsters of the Sea, but it wasn't scheduled to start until Satuday. Well Adam's dad told them he was leaving for Iraq tomorrow and they let us go ahead and tour the exhibit. Props to the Natural Science Museum. That night we went to this great restaurant in Jackson called Nick's. Here are a few pics.

I also have to share this about our night out. So let me ask a question. If you were pregnant, would you brag about drinking? I know. I'm sure your brows are furrowed, with a "what the crap are you talking about" look on your face. Well, that is totally what our waitress did. I mentioned that I was expecting and I asked if they had any blended drinks they could make without alcohol. She said yes and then went on to say "Oh, I had two beers last night if it makes you feel any better." I just love that last part - if it makes you feel better. Why yes waitress lady! The fact that you are jeopardizing the life of your child and therefore appear a completely unfit mother very much puts me at ease!!! Good grief, what did she expect me to say?? I was in shock. Even more, she kept making comments about it all night! Who does that? Ah, the south...

Saturday (13th)
Another great day. We woke up and ate breakfast and then sat around outside just visiting. Then we had a wonderful lunch where we celebrated mine and Adam's 1 year anniversary. Ya know, usually people have a nice romantic dinner with just the two of them or go on a great trip somewhere, but there is no other way I would've rather spent my anniversary than the way we did - surrounded by our family. We all talked about how only a year ago we were going crazy wedding planning and how quickly that year has gone by. We never thought we would be sitting in those places a year later with a baby on the way. I hope this year with Adam gone goes just as quickly. We all had a piece of our year old wedding cake which actually tasted really good. After that we visited some more and then Adam had to go....

Adam and I had talked about how we wanted to do the whole thing;who he wanted to go to Shelby, who needed to drive, etc. He finally decided it would be too hard for all of us to go to Shelby, so Ryan drove him and we all said our goodbyes at his house. I would not wish that pain on my worst enemy. While I had a great day with everyone, I couldn't help but put everything into this though "will this be the last time ___?" From watching Adam brush his teeth to all of us sitting around at the table, I kept thinking will this be the last time I get to see this or be a part of this? I know it is a horrible way to go through the day, but I couldn't push it aside. I watched him do everything hoping the baby and I would get to see him do it again. I put on a happy face though and told him everything would be just fine. I kept that face until we had to to let him go.

As everyone said goodbye to him I could tell they were trying to be strong for him and for me. However, when I hugged him that last time, I couldn't be strong anymore. I cried in his arms hoping this wasn't the last hug we would share. He cried. I cried. I didn't want to let him go. He pulled away and touched my stomach and told the baby bye. I cried some more. Like I said, I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I have never felt so much hurt. Here I have been given my soul mate, the most amazing man I have ever met, the father of my child, and here I am letting him go not knowing if I will see him again. I hate war. I want to manufacture signs and shirts that just say "war sucks". Its not fair.

As he pulled away I smiled and cut the tears, but as soon as he was out of sight most of us lost it. His dad said "How many times do we have to do this?" (remember, they have been through all of his previous deployments too). I cried and cried. We went upstairs to pack his things and I cried some more. I got in the car with mom to go back to Florence and I cried again. I honestly didn't feel like I would ever stop crying. I asked my mom how I was going to do this and she said I would be just fine. I 'm not really sure how, but I guess I don't have a choice.

Sunday (14th)

Today is our 1 year anniversary. Adam called this morning to tell me happy anniversary and I got to share some news with him... so I don't know if you have heard of these gender prediction tests. You can buy them over-the-counter and it will tell you the sex of your baby. Now, granted, this is not 100% accurate, but in clinical trials it was over 90% accurate; in real world trials it was 82% accurate. I was telling everyone about it while we were in Jackson and they all wanted me to get one just for fun. I got one, but read you have to do it first thing in the morning so I had to wait until today. I took it this morning and..... boy. I told Adam and I could just hear the excitement in his voice. It was adorable. We both know that this is only for fun and we won't know for sure until we have the ultrasound, but its something fun to think about. Kinda makes it more real. I guess we'll see at the end of July how accurate it is!
I am going to get some lunch. Please keep Adam in your prayers this week. As hard as this is for me and his family and friends, its a thousand times harder on Adam. Pray for God to give him peace and strenth. I will get up his address in Iraq when I get it from him in case you guys want to send him a happy note or something.
Job search starts Monday! Wish me luck!

4 comments:

Katie said...

I can only imagine how hard it must of been, but I'm glad you made the most of your trip and had a great time with him while we was here!

and Congrats on the baby boy :)

LT (and Max) said...

oh jessica! i read every word of this post and i felt like i was there! (I mean...is that a tear i feel coming down my cheek???)...there are lots of people praying for you, adam, baby martin (boy????!) and the rest of your family. stay strong sweet girl! surround yourself by those you love!!

Angela said...

I will be praying for Adam, for you, for the baby, and for your families.

Jessica said...

Thanks guys. I can't tell you how much the prayers mean to me!

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