Feb 19, 2010

On the Road Again...

I am a nomad. I actually counted how many times I have moved since I started college and the number was staggering. Go, on, guess. Three? Try again. Five? Keep going. Seven? Higher. Ten? Almost there! Twelve. I have moved twelve times since I started college. I am tired.

The sad part of this whole thing? I AM NOT DONE! I am about to pack everything up (yet again) and move to my in-laws house in Madison Mississippi. I will be there with Maggie Claire for about 2 or 3 weeks until Adam makes it back home. I am already overwhelmed.

I thought it was bad moving all MY stuff... then, I got married and had to move his stuff AND my stuff. Now, I get the joy of moving his stuff, my stuff, and now MC's stuff. Whew. I can't even begin to explain how much crap a child has for those of you who don't have children. I mean, its insane. First of all, this child has more clothes than I do. Secondly, she has enough toys to fill a small town. Then you factor in the all important swing, rocker recliner, tub, high chairs, changing table, pack and plays, etc., it turns into a HUGE amount of crap. I'm sorry to refer to my beautiful baby girl's belongings as "crap" but when you have moved as much as I have, everything you own suddenly turns into "crap". If it's not a bed, couch, or computer, it becomes surprisingly insignificant and you wonder why you have it. Hence, the "crap" status. Now, don't get me wrong, once you get settled, all of these items return to being crucial for survival. Example - shoes. I must have at least 50 pairs of shoes. When I am moving and packing they are crap; when I get settled, there is no happiness without them and I must have more. Its an odd transformation.

Anyway, I am super excited about a change of scenery and WAY excited about my sweet Adam coming back. I almost can't even fathom the fact that I will have my husband and daughter under the same roof with me in a few short weeks. I have to admit that when Adam left, I didn't know if I would ever be able to make it. I feel like I have grown so much in the time he's been gone. Yes, it was super difficult at times, but I have come out of the whole thing a much stronger person. If you had told me before I met Adam that I would get married, get pregnant, have my husband deployed, and move back in with my parents all in the same year, I would've told you to shoot me right then. I mean, thats a lot to deal with. However, I put on my big girl panties, took it a day at a time, and now here I am at the end of this long journey. I almost feel like if I can handle all the stresses of being pregnant and raising a child pretty much alone while my husband is around the world in a war zone, there isn't a whole lot I can't do. I appologize if I sound conceited when I say that, its just that I have never viewed myself as a strong, independant woman and for the first time in my life I am feeling like maybe I spent too much time underestimating myself. Now, with that being said, I can't take all the credit. I have to give it to God. Without a lot of prayer and guidance, I couldn't have made it. Its so true that God never gives you more than you can handle. You might be on the edge of breaking, but He, somehow, will always give you the strength to go on if you let him in. I love the quote by Mother Teresa on an ornament a past student gave me - " I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that he didn't trust me so much" That's how I felt numerous times throughout this past year, but in the end, I'm glad he trusted me. While the situation seemed horrible, God had a plan. Whether it was for me to grow and develop a newfound strength, or for Adam and I to build an even stronger relationship, it was all worth it!

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and (if you celebrate) a great start to the Lenten season! Its bye-bye sweets for me so keep me in your prayers!!! haha.


Katie said...

good luck with the move! And congrats on proving to yourself you can do it!

Jennifer said...

You don't sound conceited at all. You sound like a young woman who has learned an incredible amount this year! Good for you!!! So glad your hubby is coming back. :)


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