From Baby Blues to Bottle Battle

So, ya know that instruction manual we all wish babies came with? I wish it included a chapter on bottles. Maggie Claire is now 5 1/2 weeks old and I have yet to find the right bottle/nipple combination. I want to scream. Here's the deal...

We started with an average formula I had gotten free in the mail - she spit up ALL the time. Spoke to the doctor and he suggested we try Similac Sensitive RS which has an added rice starch which is supposed to help with spitting up. Well, since this formula has that added starch, its thicker than most formulas and therefor doesn't want to come out of most nipple holes. I think I have bought every bottle and nipple flow under the sun and I can't seem to find one that works! I dealt with this headache for what seemed an eternity and then one day my mother accidentally picked up the Similac Sensitive without the RS. Since it is a normal consistency, I was able to go to the store, buy some Platex drop in liner bottles and the regular newborn flow nipple. That was great. Everything was fine, except she was still spitting up and staying gassy. The doctor eventually put her on Zantac which seems to be helping a little. I called to see if we needed to switch to a soy formula since she is still having problems and they asked what formula she was on now - busted. (After mom had accidentally gotten the regular Similac Sensitive and I saw how easy the bottle situation was, I didnt want to go back to the RS!) I told her and she said we needed to go back on the RS. crap. Now I am back to square one and can't find a freaking bottle/nipple. The level one flows on most are too slow and she can't get anything, but when I go up to level two's its too fast and she gets too much. I don't want to deal with using a pin to make the holes bigger in the level ones... that's too irregular. There is no way to make all the holes the same size and I have to have everything "just so". I want to be able to buy a nipple and not have to make any adjustments. I am so frustrated. There HAS to be something out there that works! I mean, what do all of the other mother's of children who use this formula use??? And, yes, I have tried researching on the internet to find an answer. However, I have tried every single suggestion I have read and can't seem to find a solution that works for Maggie Claire. Just to let you know, this is what is encircling my head right now:

Avent - doesnt like nipple, bottles tend to leak

Dr. Brown - doesnt like nipple. level one too slow, level two too fast

Nuk - level one and two too slow, level three too fast

Born Free - level one too slow, level two too fast

Playtex VenAire - level one too slow, level two too fast

Playtex Drop ins - level one too slow on silicone nipple, currently experimenting with level one in the latex nipple (I had one at the house and it seemed to work... which makes no sense since it is the same flow by the same maker as the silicone nipple . Ugh, whatever)

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Its never going to end! There is no answer! Maggie Claire is going to go the rest of her bottle feeding life having twenty different nipples shoved in her mouth as she sits screaming just wanting some food.

I know I have completely bored every single reader with this post, but I just HAD to vent. I am so frustrated and just want everything organized! This is going under my pillow toinght.

Dear Bottle Fairy,

Hi. Its Jessica. So, I am having some major issues. This formula sucks and there are too many freaking levels. flows, and stages for each type of bottle.... and NONE OF THEM WORK. So, if you could just drop off the perfect bottle and nipple for this formula I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Oh, p.s. - tell the bottle companies I hate them. Thats all. Thanks.