I'm NOT too sexy for my clothes...

Alright ladies, I suppose this is the time I need some major support. Guys definately don't understand. My dad thought it was funny. Adam said "don't worry about it. You're pregnant." So here's the deal. Yesterday I was off work and so was dad. It was so nice to have some time to spend together. I'll fill you in on all that later though. So we stopped by my mom's office to pick up some toothbrushes for me to mail to Adam. I came in and all the girls were just "aw, Jess, you look so cute!" It was great. Then, as we were leaving, my mom called out my name. I turned around and she was like "do you remember T?" There was a woman who looked very familiar sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. I said she looked familiar and mom went on to tell me that it was M's sister (her brother's wife). I'm not really sure what that would make her to me... distant relative by marriage? Anyway, of course my mom starts telling her how we're expecting (I guess she has taken on the role of Adam now and when sharing the story says "we" are having a baby). T looks all excited and asked if I knew what I was having yet. Then, one of the interns there at the office looked at me and said "oh she's having a boy. I can tell by the way she's carrying." Ok. That's fine. Apparently my stomach looks a certain way. I can live with that; there's a baby in it and he can make it look any way he wants. What I am NOT fine with was the next comment.... T went on to say, "Yeah I think you're right. I've noticed your butt and hips look a lot wider from the last time I saw you."...............................what........................... I didn't even know what to say. I just stood there thinking "are you the devil?" What kind of horrid person tells a pregnant woman she looks fat??!!! Then, it gets BETTER! My dad chimes in with "ya know, I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say anything." OH MY GOSH! If I wasn't pregnant, I would get a gun and go shoot myself right now! I suppose they were starting to see the agonizing look on my face and then tried to make it sound better (however not even remotely successfully) "oh, I mean, its not a bad thing! That's how I knew I was having a boy with my second one. My butt and hips just spread right out. With my girl I was all belly." I wanted to tell this woman she was STILL all belly and needed to shut her fat mouth. However, being the gentle southern belle that I am I just said "well it was nice to see you, I'm going to go home and walk..." They all just laughed and dad and I went on my way. Yeah. Very funny. I guess all of it was just a little overwhelming because I hadn't really noticed any changes. Maybe I am being naive because I see my body everyday, but I thought just my stomach had gotten bigger. So much for that dream.

So after that Dad and I met my aunt Lisa for lunch. Lunch. Oh boy. I was tempted to skip it all together but it was 2:00 and I was starving. I mean, I do have a huge ass to feed now :( We had a nice time and they shared several laughs about my butt problem which, of course, was very fun for me.

When I got home I had to get all of Adam's things together to mail to him. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but the post office has an 800 number you can call and get all of your shipping materials for free (well, if you have a friend/family member serving overseas). I had just gotten all my stuff in so I opened it all up and started packing. I have to say though, in addition to insurance, mail is another thing that confuses me at times. I mean, there are so many different forms and ways to mail stuff that I usually have no clue what to do. I got these little carbon copy packets I had to fill out and I had no idea why. I also didn't have any idea of how to fill it out since in the box of who it's going to it asks for a city, state, etc. The address Adam gave me has none of that. No joke, its the weirdest looking address I have ever seen. Then, there were these plastic sticky things in there and I had no idea about those either. I just ended up packing and taping everything and then carrying all the paper work stuff with me to ask the post office guy about it. Anyway, it all got mailed and I hope he enjoys it!

So I felt really great that I had done something productive and thought I deserved a movie. I got in my car and started backing out of the garage, when...BAM! Yes, I was told I was fat and now I had just backed into my mom's car. You have got to be freaking kidding me! I was too scared to get out and look so I just sat there for a minute taking everything in. I turned off the car and slowly got out to get inspect the damage. HAHA! Nothing! I was stuck though. On one shoulder sat a little Jessica dressed as a devil; on the other an angel. I thought, "well, you can't tell anything even happened. Would it be worth getting both of my parents all upset. I mean, they are old. They don't need that stress." Then the other Jessica pointed out "what if there is something wrong that you just haven't noticed. They would be furious if you lied to them about it." Damn my conscience. I tromped off to the backyard (aka my gravesite) to tell them what happened. I saw dad first and told him. Typical reaction - "you did what?!" He came and looked at it and opened the hood to make sure everything was fine. One of the little silver things on her grill was cracked, but that was it. Then he said I better go tell mom. Dun dun dun. I walked back and saw her mowing the grass. I told her she better turn it off. She already looked mad. I said "um mom (insert puppy dog eyes) I just backed into your car." Her response "Oh Jess! You didn't! Is it bad?" I told her that I couldn't even tell anything had happened. She walked over to me, put her arm around me, and said "well, these things happen sometimes. Let's go take a look." For the second time today I was totally speechless. No yelling. No storming off. I was totally confused. She looked at the car and just said "well the main thing is that you're ok. There isn't any damage or anything. Go get my keys and I'll move the car for you to get out. Just make sure you look next time before you back up." That was it. I just decided to be thankful that something was going my way out of the whole situation.

Well, other than being fat and hitting a car, my day was fine. haha. I'm off again today, so let's see if I'll be so lucky as to step on a nail or break my arm. I'll fill you in tomorrow!