Jul 9, 2009

Michael Jackson Berl?

Hey Blog readers! I am not really sure the reason for the happy intro... today wasn't the best day at work. Maybe I'm just glad to be home away from work. And blogging makes me smile. Smiling's my favorite (Don't you love that movie? I wish it were Christmas everyday).

So even though I didn't have the best day at work, I did have a very hilarious moment that I must share before filling you in on everything else. So at the front desk at a dental office you have to talk to people. Now, most of the people who come are happy just making their appointments and leaving.... then, there are those who wish to share their life story or ask about yours. Generally, these people fall into one category - old men. I just love little old men. They are so precious. They will ask/talk to you about anything and everything. Well, this adorable little old man came to check out today and he was going on and on about this, that and the other. Then, he said "Ya know, I want a berl like Michael Jackson!" Well, with the the noise in the office I understood him to say that he wanted a girl like Michael Jackson..... hmmm... I thought for a moment (I wanted to say, uh, you want to be with an ugly girl who will have babies and leave you alone?). I kinda like to act goofy with the old men and humor them so I just repeated what I thought he said back to him in a shocked voice "You want a girl like Michael Jackson?" He said "a girl? What? No! I'm a one woman kinda man! I want a berl like that Michael Jackson! (let me translate; apparently in the south "berl" means "burrial"). I still thought he was saying girl and the dental assistant who was standing at the counter laughed her head off and said "No, Jessica, he was saying burrial!" (Oh, yeah, that makes much more sense. He wants a vegas style casket with vendors selling t-shirts when he dies?) Little old man and Mrs. H proceeded to taunt each other about girls and husbands and I believe it ended with Mrs. H asking if she needed to get her husband on the phone to straighten him out. I have no idea where that conversation went.

So, from this cute little man with the accent I apparently don't understand, I had another person who had me totally confused. I got a phone call that started "Mam? Is this Dr. B's office? (Let me stop right there. If someone answers the phone "good morning, thank you for calling Dr. B's office. This is Jessica; how many I help you?" would you think you had reached Dr. B's office? Or would you think you were calling to order a pizza? Sorry for being so sarcastic, but really... pay attention when I say my little spill. I don't do it for fun) So after sweetly replying "yes it is", he went on, saying "well hey there. I got a puppy here" (I thought he was trying to explain the barking in the background before he began his question so I let him continue) "now this puppy done fell off somethin' and broke his leg (at this point I am thinking, "um, this is quite the tragic story. I do feel major sympathy for this puppy, but where in the hell are you going with this?" ) Needless to say, I put in a quick "oh no" and let him continue...there had to be a point in there somewhere. So he goes on "well, he got a problem in that back joint there and I'm wondering..." then I stopped him. Ok, obviously this man is A.a little off his rocker and thinks "doctor" means able to fix anything, or B. (the more likely of the two)this dude thinks we're a vet. I kindly interrupted his poor story about Buddy to say "um, sir, I'm sorry. This is Dr. B's office, but we are a dental practice, not a vet." He sat for a moment and said "oh, uh, I'm sorry. Well, listen, I'm done way out here in the country and aint got no phone book, could you look up the number for the animal hospital?" I was a little taken back, but wasn't bound to let Buddy suffer on my watch, so I quickly looked up the number and called it out to him. Hope the poor little guy is ok.

Ironically enough, that last story is a good segway for me tell my about my fun filled activity last night. I shucked corn. Yes, go ahead and laugh. Farmer Jessica sat out on the back porch with mom and shucked corn. I felt so Alabama. Knocked up pregnant girl, living at home, sitting on the back porch shucking corn with her mom. If I had had on some cut off blue jean shorts and a low cut tank top with my bra strap hanging out it would've been magical. It wasn't too bad I guess. I mean, fresh veggies always taste better so I'm sure it will be worth all the hard labor in the end. And we did get some help. Poor little kid from down the street who likes to come visit got ropped into helping. Oh my gosh, I have to share this too. So he and his mom were on a walk and came by our house to show us what they had gotten for their new shih tzu.... a camo dog stroller. (Her husband is in the army) I swear to goodness it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen in my life. A mini Gizmo sitting there with his tounge hanging out in this camo stroller. I mean the little dog is 8 weeks old. You could carry him in a coffee mug. Then, here he comes pimpin in his Excursion size limo stroller. I wish I had had my camera. So after all the oooo-ing and ahhhh-ing, Coby asked what were were doing. Mom said "shucking corn" as if a 6 year old had any idea what that was. He excitedly asked "can I help?!" Given that we had 2 garbage bags full of the stuff mom said sure. Poor little kid. He had no idea what he was in for. It was like mom was beginning some sort of illegal child labor institution. He seemed happy though. He liked "pickin' off all those little hairs" as he called them. His dad came to get him later and he said he didn't want to go home. Mom had to promise to go get more this weekend so he could help again.

Finally I have to share Adam news. Man, this post is getting long. Most of you have probably scrolled on down or found a much more interesting blog by now. Well, I think I mentioned that Adam called me the other morning and told me they were flying out to Iraq that day. (They have been in Kuwait for the past 3 weeks.) I didn't hear from him all day yesterday and today he finally called and said they made it safely. Hopefully once he gets settled we can finally try out this Skype deal. I'm dying to see his face!

Baby is still moving all the time! I LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling him move! Its so real now. I also do things constantly in hopes of getting him excited so he'll give me a little kick. Before Adam left I had him record himself reading some children's books. I wanted the baby to know Adam's voice, so I planned on playing it while he was gone. I got some of the old school headphones (the ones with the poof ball ear pieces) and put them on my stomach to play them. The baby LOVED it! He started moving all around. It kind made me teary eyed though. The first part starts out "Hi baby! This is daddy! I want to read you a little story and little critter and his daddy..." It just made me think about how Adam can't be here to experience everything. I know he hates he's missing it too. At least I am getting to talk to him though. I can't imagine what it was like for all those poor wives with husbands who were gone in earlier wars. I mean, they didn't have cell phones and the internet. They had little, if any, contact. That would be horrible. I am thankful we still get to talk, and, like I said earlier, possibly see each other skype-ing.

Well this post has definately gone on long enough! Off work tomorrow so I'm sure another will be coming soon. Happy Almost Friday Day!


Katie said...

what a hilarious day! I wouldn't have know what the heck the guy was talking about when he said berl! And that poor dog all broken in the hands of rednecks! Thanks to you it probably made it out alive haha.

And that was such a smart idea to record Adam, and so sweet that he would actually do it :)

The Sweet Life said...

Well your stories definitely made me laugh after my rough day!

Anonymous said...

A pup with an injury, a man who knows what kind of "burl" he wants, a neighbor boy who likes shucking corn...I almost felt like I was there myself. Thanks for entertaining me once more. Again, my continued prayers for a wonderful pregnancy and Adam's safe return to your arms.

Becky said...

Were you barefooted and spitting while shucking corn? That would have made it even more authentic! HAHA Just kidding! Your stories always crack me up (I think I tell you that every time I comment). Elf is the best movie ever to make you laugh! Your headphone idea with Adam reading is so precious! That is perfect!! It made me say, "Awwww!" I hope everything else is going well! Hope you have a great weekend!

Sir Jackson Peaks said...

Great post! I was able to picture everything and was cracking up on the couch - I even paused the replay of today's le tour de france stage so I could read! Yes, feel special - ha!

You guys are going to LOVE Skype - it's awesome. I love talking to my parents on it because I get to actually see their face. Hope Adam is able to figure it out - I know you can't wait to "see" him.

I'm enjoying your posts ma'am, and I need to get in the habit of writing a lot more. I have so many things I want to talk about but I lose track of time. Story of my life.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend - Em and I will call tomorrow... I hope.

Love from Denver.

Oh PS: I'm going to be in Mississippi picking up Jackson in mid August... maybe we can meet for lunch if you "happen" to be around.


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