Angel

Well, today was a super busy day at work. Lots of new patients and that means putting in lots of new insurance info... you know how I feel about this subject so I won't even go there. It was stresseful and worst of all, my right hand man (well, woman) Mrs. J wasn't there. So I had an idiot day again today. She and I are like Goose and Maverick. Of course you can take a guess as to who Goose would be. However, Goose does die in the end - maybe the stress won't do that to me.

So after the crazy day at work, I was feeling a little down. Then, driving home, what comes on my ipod but Angel by Jack Johnson. I immediately started smiling like a little kid at Christmas. Let me explain...

As I have said time and time again, I am married to Mr.Perfect. He is awesome and I don't deserve him. Well one day after a REALLY bad day at school, he told me to come in the bedroom and sit down and close my eyes. Then I heard him start to play the guitar so I opened them. He began serenading me with Angel by Jack Johnson. If you haven't heard this song you must itunes it. Its adorable. So of course being the emotional basket case I am I started crying and could barely let him finish the song without grabbing him up and kissing him.

Needless to say, everytime I hear that song I think of my baby. Its so nice how God puts little smiles in our day just when we need them...

Well, after I was already feeling better thinking of Adam's sweet serenade, I remembered another one of his singing experiences and started laughing my head off. (Yes, to myself.... alone.... in the car...quite a sight I'm sure.) So while we were dating Adam and I had gotten in a huge fight. I stormed out and went back to my apartment. I was sitting at my computer still fuming over the incident when I heard my door open downstairs. (What the crap? Who the hell was in my house? First a fight with my boyfriend and now I get murdered? What a great day.) I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and I really started getting scared. I swung around in my chair and I see Adam standing there. Naked. Holding a guitar. (Well, he wasn't actually naked, but he wanted it to appear that way. He had on his little teeny tiny Ranger shorts all tucked in so much that you couldn't even see them. With the guitar over him he looked completely naked.) He proceeded to play a special "I'm sorry" song that he had apparently composed on the way to my apartment. It was freaking hilarious. I couldn't help but forget any angry emotions that were swirling around in my head. They all got flushed and what was left was pure laughter and love. (I did tell him he can't just get naked and sing everytime he messes up though. He said he knew that and he had probably just done something pretty stupid since he now had no idea how he was ever going to top this appology!) Well, whatever the motive and whatever fights would follow, that will always be the best appology I have ever gotten.

Baby is not just "baby" anymore!

Well Adam and I have finally chosen a name for Baby Martin! YAY! I won't have to refer to her simply as "her" and "baby" anymore! We had a kinda hard time agreeing on names... and then when we got it down to about 4, Adam said he wanted to wait until the baby was born to make the final decision. Being the planner I am, I heatedly debated with him on this issue. I tried to explain that she will come out looking like an adorable shriveled raisin no matter what so let's just choose one! I guess I wore him down and we finally agreed on..... Margaret Claire Elizabeth Martin. We'll call her Maggie Claire. One of Adam's grandmother's names is Margaret and the other's middle name is Elizabeth. Claire is French and his whole side is French; so smush them all together and you get our little Maggie Claire! Adam did however insist we have a back up in case she doesn't look like a Maggie Claire, so plan B is Emma Leigh Claire Martin. Emma because its cute, Leigh is my middle name, and Claire as I mentioned was French. I am so excited we've got a little girl and a name now! (Well as most of you have probably figured out, I am the type of person who cares a great deal about what other people think. Especially those that I love. Its been hard knowing that some of them don't really like the name, but I just feel its right for her. Maybe one day they'll come around....it sucks when you are so happy and excited about something but you feel like you have disappointed someone.) Anyway, what do you guys think?

I suppose that is all the big news for this post, believe it or not. Work has been going well and I am feeling WAY more comfortable with all the computer stuff. I've got super fun and amazing people to work with so I'm loving it!

Adam and I have been Skyping every night and that has been great. Well, we have actually been using Yahoo messenger. It's the same thing as Skype - you can web cam, type, and make phone calls. We just seem to have better luck with it. Adam has a really crappy connection out there so we have had problems with getting cut off a lot while we are talking. Yahoo also seems to have a little better video quality and its more reliable than Skype. Well, either way, its been amazing getting to see him almost every night. I think he's enjoying keeping up with the belly! haha. I feel like I am getting bigger everyday and its so wonderful. I tell ya, we didn't know if we could even get pregnant and to know that I am carrying little Maggie right now seems like such a miracle. I might have a husband overseas, but I still feel so blessed. Granted, when I start missing Adam, I forget that sometimes, but I am trying really hard to keep it in mind. Things could be SO much worse than they are.

Well of to bed! Working girl needs her sleep!

I wish they really had a "chill pill"

Hello blog readers! Well, today has been pretty boring. Went into work first thing this morning and made my calls and pulled charts (our office is closed Mondays so I just go in and do my thing by myself). I was struggling I have to say. I started coughing like crazy for no reason this morning and by the time I made phone call number 100 at work, I wasn't feeling so hot. My head was killing me and I couldn't stop coughing. I talked to mom not long after I got home and she suggested I call the doctor to see if there is anything that is safe to take while pregnant. I called and they named off some medicines that are fine... one of which was Robitussin.

So being the nice person she is, mom went out after she got home to pick up some Robitussin for me. She called to double check on my symptoms and, when I told her, she said the one that fit the best was only available in nighttime. I assumed it would be fine and I have to admit that the thought of actually sleeping one night did appeal to me (I'm sure I've mentioned that I haven't slept for the past 3 weeks. I have no idea why. I keep waking up every hour or so and can't go back to sleep. Maybe its that I cant get comfortable. I used to soley sleep on my back or stomach, but due to to my recent state, both of those are a no no.)

So it is now almost 10:30 and I am freaking out. I took one dose of the medicine and then it occurred to me that the nighttime formula might be different! Oh my gosh. What have I done. I know I get paranoid about a lot of stuff, but this is really scaring me. However, the only thing I can do is wait it out and call the doc tomorrow and ask if the NIGHTTIME Robitussin is ok too. Geez, I have called them so many times lately I am starting to feel like a stalker or something. I bet if they have caller ID (as Tassie mentioned in her latest post, most do) I bet they just die laughing when they see my name pop up. Who am I kidding... they probably have an office poll going by now "How many times will that Martin girl call today?" or "On a scale of 1-10, how stupid will Mrs. Martin's question be today?". Geez. I really wish they manufactured what my dad tells me I need all the time - a chill pill. I'd go to Sam's and buy them in bulk.

So in attempts to get my mind off the fact that I might be a baby murderer, Adam and I finally started talking about girl names! YAY! You know I am a total planner so it is killing me not to have a definate name picked out yet (and not to mention that I would love to refer to our daughter as something other than "baby"). Adam and I are really big on family names so we are playing with a few options going that route. We also have agreed on some others we just think are cute. You don't know what a milestone that is. Adam and I have discussed names before and we never agree on ANYTHING. He had some funny association for almost all the names I really liked. So anyway, here is a list of some we actually agreed on!

Emma Claire
Emma Kate

Anna Grace

Aubrey

Isabella (we'll call her Bella)

Layla (yes, like the song haha)

Here are the family names we liked:

- Emma Leigh (Leigh is my middle name)

- Margaret (his grandmother's name. We would call her Maggie if we used it. We've tried to think of pairings with this to make a double name like "Margaret Claire (Maggie Claire)"

- Mary Elizabeth (There are an abundance of Mary's on his side and I have one on mine. Elizabeth is his grandmother's middle name)

I'm sure I've mentioned that picking a name has got to be the most daunting task I have undertaken to date. I really hope we can choose something we won't regret 10 years down the road. The thought scares me.

So I suppose I am off to bed for the night. I am off work tomrrow so maybe I can get a little R&R and kick whatever this cough thing is; my head is killing me - I assume from all the coughing. Hopefully I'll get the ok from the doc on the Robitussin issue (without being laughed off the phone first anyway). I'll keep you posted on any new paranoid developments! :)

Baby Belly

Here are a few pictures mom took after church today. I'm currently 20 weeks according to my original countdown... however, the last two times I went to the doctor I was measuring a little over a week ahead of where I actually am. They said I was about 21 weeks when I had this ultrasound. I am assuming I still say I am 20 weeks though, otherwise I would have a missing week in my belly pics. I can't magically go from 19 to 21. Anyway, I wasn't sure about the date of my last "visitor" when I went to the doctor for the first time so I might very well be 21 weeks. For belly pic accuracy though this is week 20.

Pink you say?

Alright, so as you know, Friday Adam and I found out we are having a little girl. As I have shown in previous pictures, my poor baby girl had no pink in her life! I couldn't have it. Saturday after work, mom and I immediately went out shopping. Can we say fun? Oh my gosh. This whole time I have been looking at cute little blue and white overalls and completely neglected to pick up any pink! It was like heaven! (I have to say that of course Adam asked why I was going shopping. I kindly explained that our daughter will not go through the most impressionable years of her life without pink. I said that at this point all she owned was yellow or blue and I needed to froo-froo her up. I must say his response was quite humourous - "Jess, she's not a lamp or couch! She doesn't need any "froo-froo"!" - poor guy; he will never understand.) We began our shopping excursion with modesty in mind knowing that there will be upcoming showers... however, once you see that glorious sprawl of rose, fuchsia, carnation, and magenta, you can't help but want it all. It also didn't help that Belk was having a sale and I had a coupon to take an additional 15% off sale items. I mean, how can a bargain hunter like me walk away from that? We must've circled the store at least 25 times as we picked up each and every outfit and "ooohed and awwwed" over them. I ended up with some great things and the best part was I got to tell Adam they were on sale! Here are a few of my favorite things I eneded up with (It would take about 15 pages to show everything we ended up getting so I had to limit to my favs)

Cute little polka-dot onsie

This one has a short sleeve and long sleeve shirt. Don't you just love the feet on this one? They look like little ballet shoes! Adorable!

This is a long sleeve onsie with pants to go over it. Love the emroidered saying on it (which I don't think you can read) - "My daddy loves me."

Baby girl will be all ready for our beach trip we are planning when Adam gets back! Can't you just see her in this and a cute hot pink beach hat?! (Oh, the pink things are little embroidered flamingos)

I'm not ashamed to say that I bought this just for the lady bug feet.

You know I had to buy this when I saw it...there are two others in the set that say "Adorable" and "My mommy loves me"

I figured I should start the shoe obsession as early as possible.

So after I got home it was time for mine and Adam's usual web cam date. I spent the first 10 minutes of our time showing him all of the adorable things I had purchased. Now, as a man, I didn't expect him to take to much enjoyment out of this. However, I must say again that I have married Mr.Perfect. However much he wanted to scream, he acted totally excited about everything. I was just telling Jessica this morning that I thank God everyday for him. I know I comment on how amazing he is in almost every blog and most of you probably grow sick of it, but I just can't help myself. I feel so blessed.

After the fashion show, we spent some time discussing what to do about his leave situation in December. It stinks that you can't ever know when a baby is coming. I'm sure I have mentioned what a planner I am and this whole situation doesn't sit well with me. I have no control over whether he will be here for the delivery. We've been trying to work things out so that he gets his 10 days emergency leave (used for instances like a wife in labor) and his regular 2 week leave (all soldiers get a two week break to come home while they are deployed) right there together so he can be home for 3 weeks. I'm not sure how things are going to work out though. My due date is December 4th so as time gets closer be sure to say an extra prayer that by the grace of God Adam will somehow be able to make it for the delivery. I don't want him to miss out on such an awesome experience.

Other than the usual pregnancy symptoms I have been feeling good! I get horrible leg cramps some nights and I haven't been sleeping much, but other than that I can't really complain. The lab tech said baby looks healthy and we all know that is the only thing that matters! I scanned some of the ultrasound pics to email to Adam so I figured I'd share some! (Now, I might be a total idiot, but it took me a long long time to figure out what some of these were showing. Yes, she had it labeled, but I am apparently a special kind of idiot and even that didn't help me. Maybe you'll be able to decipher them!)

She gave us a nice shot! haha, it's a girl!

Such a beautiful foot!

The future Miss America's first profile shot! :)

Its a......

Well, the verdict is here! The lab tech said she was 99% sure that...........................

hahaha. Can you believe it??? Adam and I were sooooo surprised! Let me give you the whole scoop....

So my appointment was at 10:30 today. I told Adam to call around 10:40 so that maybe (with God willing) we could be on the phone together when we found out the news. So I got to my appointment a little early and right as I sat down in the chair, Adam called. I was so disappointnted because I didn't think he would get to call back to hear the news. I told him they hadn't taken me back yet and I was just about to get off the phone with him when the nurse came and called my name! YAY!! I told her the situation and she said it was fine for us to stay on the phone. So dad and I went back (I know, how sweet is it that he went with me) and she got everything all ready. Adam just kept saying "what is it? what is it?" I was like, "honey, chill out. She is only just now putting the gel on my stomach!" So she started the sonogram and at first baby was just not cooperating at all! (Mom had heard from one of her patients who had two children that drinking caffine before your ultrasound will initiate the baby to move around more. You guys know how paranoid I have been about everything with this pregnancy but I was so determined to find out that I downed a Pepsi before my appointment... obviously it didn't work) I was soooo scared she wouldn't be able to see anything. Then I guess baby felt sorry for us and did her thing and let us all know what she was! The tech said "well, its a girl!". I immediately repeated the shocking news to Adam... his response? "Oh my God (laughing)! Are you serious?!" It really sounded like he was about to cry. I immidiately asked if he was disappointed (he had been wanting a boy so badly and we thought this whole time that's what it was). Of course he said he wasn't and he was so excited to finally know! Now, my feels on it? I am SOOOOOOOOO excited. You might have gathered that I am quite the girly girl - ya know, pageants, etc. So I couldn't be happier to have a little one to dress up! My friend Jessica said "I knew it had to be a girl. You are too girly not to have one. You wouldn't even know what to do with a boy." - and she is so right! haha. However, we will definately be hoping for one next go around (which is a good while away though!)

Now, let the shopping begin!!!! haha. In addition to shopping, Adam and I have seriously got to discuss names now! Before he left we made a very long list of girl and boy name possibilities, but we wanted to wait until we knew the sex before we narrowed it down. Well, last night I guess I was just so excited about finding out today that we spent forever on yahoo messenger talking about names.... however, we only talked about BOY names!! We have barely even discussed girl names! Ah, I dread making the decision! Well, Adam and I will definately be talking about it tonight so maybe I'll have some possibilities to share on my next post.

So as if it wasn't enough to find out what we're having today, I came home to find another surprise.... beautiful flowers from Adam! I have no idea how he went about ordering them, but he did! They had the sweetest card with them and of course I started crying. He truly is the most amazing man I have ever known. I will never understand how I got so lucky! We haven't gotten to talk since the initial shock of finding out so I can't wait to pick at his brain and really find out what he thinks! I do know this... that little girl will have Adam completely wrapped around her finger! Adam will also be in the hall of fame for the most protective dad. We laugh all the time about how he will probably not even let her see a boy until she's 30 and even then he will come to the door in his ranger outfit carrying a gun. The first words out of his mouth will be "Boy, did you know that I am an army ranger? Do you know what that means? I can kill you with one finger. Yeah, thats right - one single finger....." Poor girl. Maybe I can keep him under control.

Well, I'm sure I could keep going about something, but the exctiement is just too much. I have shop. Maybe I'll have some cute pictures of my girly purchases next time! Thank heaven for little girls!!!!

What a Week for An Award!

So first of all, I have to say thank you to TBMommy for giving me a blog award! I'm so honored! And let me tell you, what a week for it! I feel like I have had the best week ever and there is so much to catch everyone up on!

Let's begin here... well, according to this blog award, I am to tell 7 things about myself and then tag 7 more bloggers to pass the award to. Well, its a shame I shared my 35 random things not too long ago. I wonder if I can come up with 7. Oh, I know, I can discuss a few of my updates in my 7 things :)

1. I find out the sex of our baby TOMORROW!!!!! I can't even explain how freaking excited I am!!!! I know I won't be able to sleep tonight. My bets are on a boy, but we will soon see!!!

2. I just adore my husband. He finally got his internet going so we got to Skype for the first time!!! I'm telling you, seeing his face with that big 'ole grin has got to be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. We are having a lot of trouble with his internet connection, but I still want to find the person who invented the web cam and give them a huge kiss.

3. Right now one of my most favorite things in the world is feeling baby kick! He (or she) is SO active! Especially in the evening!

4. No matter how excited I get, I am terrified of being a mommy! Typical fears I guess - ya know, that I will totally screw up my kids life! I like Kristen's advice to me "Jess, you are gonna screw them up no matter what you do, so just relax." What would I do without her?

5. Comments on my blog totally make my day. I get warm fuzzies knowing people read this for some reason.

6. I am almost over the fat comment that was made to me.

7. As soon as I find out the sex of the baby I am going shopping. I've been holding it in for 5 long months!!!

Again, TBMommy, thanks so much for the award. You make me smile.

I would like to pass the award to these note-worthy blogs: Tassie, Laura, Hope, Jordan, Becky, Angie and Amanda. Thanks for also making me smile daily.

So as you can tell, this has been a GREAT week. I mean of course there were the downs (there have been two nights where I cried for a long time with Adam. Seeing his face makes me remember how much I miss him and how desperately I want him here.) But overall, its been exciting. I mean, first, Adam and I had our first web cam date. As I mentioned it was so amazing. I got to show off the baby belly which he hasn't seen and I showed him some of the cute things I have gotten the baby. Seeing his face that first time was almost enough to make me cry. He is the most adorable thing ever and his gigantic smile just totally lit up my day. I love being so loved.

So if seeing my husband for the first time in a while wasn't enough, we find out the baby's sex tomorrow! Some of you are probably thinking "well, you'll get to find out if the baby cooperates..." Oh he will. As I said before, I will sit my fat butt (ok, I'm not totally over T's comment) in that waiting room until I do find out. I don't care if I have to pay extra to go back 15 different times. They are gonna tell me the sex of my baby. haha. Mom told me a patient at her office reccomended drinking some caffine before you go to get the baby moving. I'll let ya know how that works... (I haven't had a single drop of caffine since I found out I was pregnant so I am looking forward to a small cup of coffee in the morning.Ok, I'm lying. I won't enjoy it - I will inhale it. I miss coffee dearly.)

So let's recap, I get to see Adam, I get to find out Baby Martin's sex, and today I find out someone has left me a blog award. The fun just keeps coming. Watch, tomorrow they'll tell me I'm having twins or something. Nah, I'm just kidding. We have already had like 3 ultrasounds and they haven't seen a Baby Martin #2 so I think we're in the clear.

I'm trying to recall if there have been any funny work stories to share, but I just can't seem to think of anything. Perhaps my brain is clogged by all of the excitement. (I dont' think "clogged" would be the right word. When I think of "clogged", I think of a garbage disposal - and I definately don't want to hit the grind button on this feeling. Maybe "clouded". Yeah, clouded is better. That makes me think of clouds. Which makes me think of heaven. Which makes me happy. Yes, I am definately "clouded" with exciement.) I feel like a little kid at Christmas. I'm ready to get a glimpse inside my ever growing "box" to see what the gift is!

Since my bets are on a boy, Adam and I started playing around with names tonight when we talked to each other. We want to incorporate a family name (either as a first or middle name) and then there are a few others we just like. I made a list to organize our thoughts (yeah, OCD organizer) and have been playing with combinations all night. I might let you in on a few we like tomorrow ;) I must say that this name thing is causing me a great deal of stress. We all know my feels on making decisions and this is like one of the biggest decisions ever. I mean I will be screaming this name thousands of times in the years to come. I can't very well be stuck yelling a name I have grown to hate. Too much pressure. A name is forever. Its how he will be known. If I mess it up, I could mess up his whole life. What if he gets teased because of his name? Who's to blame? MOM! Ah, the stress....

Well I have got to get to bed and attempt to get some sleep (however, i know its a hopeless cause). Did I mention I haven't slept in FOREVER? I keep waking up! I don't know whats going on with me... for the past 2 weeks or so I just haven't been able to sleep. I wake up every 45-1 hour and just lay there. I'm not sure if the pregnancy has messed up my sleep pattern or what! Well, I am now becomming prepared for little one! Be looking for that "Its a...." post! Keep your fingers crossed baby won't do the same with his/her legs!!!!

I Need A Straightjacket

Alright. I just spent the last half hour on the phone with Adam bawling my eyes out. Why you ask? No reason really. It started when I missed his call. It REALLY upsets me when I miss him. I do not understand how I can have my cell phone in my hand all day and the two minutes I go outside he calls. I mean this happens almost every day. The one moment I can't answer for some reason is the exact moment he chooses to call. So I missed his call and he left two voicemails, sounding a little irritated. That upset me more. Then when he finally got me on the third try, needless to say he wasn't in the best mood. I got upset because I thought he was making me feel guilty about not answering (when in fact it was just me making me feel guilty) so I started crying. I was seriously sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to get off the subject and talk about something else so I started talking about the breastfeeding class I went to today. Then, as I was telling him the story, Adam said there was no way something I said could be true. I was like "well, uh, the nurse sat there and told me that." He kinda let it go, but I kept on with it and ended up saying "Well, if you already know so much about breastfeeding then you can just do it." Poor guy. He just didn't know what to do. I felt so bad for him after I said that so I cried more. I tried to explain that I didn't know what was wrong with me and I was sorry and he (being the amazing man he is) said "well honey, you are just pregnant and you're dealing with a lot of hormones." Inbetween sobs I also started complaining about T from yesterday who told me I had gotten wider. Then I started crying more because I felt like he didn't understand. Ugh. I just don't know what to do with myself. I have been a complete psycho for the past two days. I feel so horrible for the way I have been to Adam and my parents. God bless 'em for dealing with me right now.

On a lighter note, I did get to look at boobs all day. I know, be jealous. haha. I had a breastfeeding class at the hospital. No, we didn't sit around and whip out our breasts (as Adam thought we would for some reason), but there were a lot of pictures. I asked my mom to come with me just in case it turned out to be a "couple" thing. I didn't want to be the only one there without someone. Like the knocked up girl or something. Anyway, it didn't matter because we were the only ones there! They offer them kinda frequently so I guess no one signed up for this one. I got a nice little one-on-one lesson on breastfeeding. (I have to say that my dad was so funny when we told him where we were going. At first he was very confused as to why mom was going. "Well, Jess, mom isn't going to be pulling out her boob. What does she need to know?" Then he didn't understand why I was going period. He was like "You've got a boob and you've got a baby. You put the baby on the boob. Is there really a lot to understand?" Typical man. I tried to explain that there was a lot more to it than that. He just rolled his eyes and walked off) So as I said, mom and I got there and we were the only ones. It was super informative though. I mean, I did get to learn that I will never sleep again. That was fun. I thought it might take a lot of feeding the first few weeks or month, I had no idea it was for "several" months! You have to feed or pump every 2-3 hours if you strictly breastfeed! Wow. Never again will I sleep like a normal person. I am super scared. I don't know how I will be able to do that! I mean, sleeping a few hours, getting up, sleeping a few hours, getting up, doesn't sound like the ideal thing to do when you have to work. I am going to be a zombie. The whole idea is very overwhelming. I still totally want to do it, I just hope I am strong enough to make it through all that. I know its SO much better for the baby. And I am lucky that I get to live and home and I don't have to worry about all the feedings in addition to housework, laundry, cooking , etc. I will have it a lot easier than most women. Still though, I'm nervous. Well, I shouldn't say nervous. I am scared out of my freaking mind to be quite honest. Any mommies out there with some encouraging words?

I think ALL the fears are starting to rear their ugly head now. I wonder constantly if I am ready for this (especially without Adam's support). If we should've planned better. If I'm going to totally screw up my child's life - the usual. I mean its so scary to think that my entire life has been about me; my needs, my wants. Now, its all about another human. I am the person this baby depends on for life. If I mess up, they suffer. I mean that is frightening. I think I'm gonna cry again.

Before I end the post, I have to give a special shout out to Jordan and his girlfriend Emily. Jordan is a friend of Adam's from high school and recently I got to meet them both when we went to Denver to visit. Super amazing people. I mean, have you ever known someone who just blows you away with their support and friendship? These are those people. Jordan twittered (is that the term? I am so not with it.) about Adam and has now managed to get the CEO of a company to donate some things to him and the other guys over there. Not to mention he calls/messages/texts often to check in and see how I'm doing. Keep in mind that I have only met these people one time. It just melts my heart to know that the world has such wonderful people in it. I think so highly of them both and I hope God continues to bless them for all the awesome things they do. I hope they know how much Adam and I appreciate them and how lucky we feel to have them as friends. (Here come the water works again. Good lord, I gotta go watch a funny movie or something and make this madness stop) So, thanks again guys! We love you!

Robbery

Alright. As most of you know, I am REALLY trying to stay positive right now. I am an extremely lucky person and I know that. I need to focus on the positive. However..... I just can't see the light in the past two days' events. As I described earlier, I was informed I needed an "extra wide load" sign attached to my rear end, and then I hit my mom's car. Now yet another set back in my positive outlook plan. Today I got online to check the current charges for our cell phone. I hadn't gotten my email saying the bill was available to view, but I thought I would see how we were doing anyway. Yeah. Shouldn't have looked. Adam and I have a bill of $485. Dear lord. I must admit that I wanted to cry when I saw this number staring me in the face. I mean, its robbery. I immediately started thinking about those old visa commercials, except in the last part where it says "priceless" ours would say "phone calls to pregnant wife while in Iraq - $485". I was so shocked and upset that of course I had to post about it on my facebook status. I got like 10 comments talking about various other means of communication. I mean we have every intent of using Skype or Magic Jack or whatever, its just that since he has been gone, he hasn't had internet (And not to mention that I have to be at home on the computer to use this. During the times he is able to talk, I am at work or gone.) If we wanted to talk to each other in the last month, we had to use the cell phone. There were a few phones when he was in Kuwait, but of course you had to wait forever and a day for one to open up; and you could only stay on like 10 minutes. Now that they have finally gotten over to Iraq, they should be getting the internet set up any day now.

It just irks me that soldiers and their families have to go through crap like this in addition to everything else. First the phone situation and then there's also shipping charges on packages. I also think this should be free for military families, but I know I don't even need to get on that soapbox. Its just all around sad that these men and women are protecting our very livelyhood and the goverment and cell phone companies have the audacity to squeeze every cent out of them (or their families) that they can. Boo for them.

Well, I still haven't quite managed to get out of my funk yet. I hope the rest of the day goes well and I manage to forget the still minor setbacks in my life lately. I am just trying to remember how amazingly lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man and been blessed with a so-far healthy pregnancy and baby. I suppose its true: Life aint always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride - Gary Allen

I'm NOT too sexy for my clothes...

Alright ladies, I suppose this is the time I need some major support. Guys definately don't understand. My dad thought it was funny. Adam said "don't worry about it. You're pregnant." So here's the deal. Yesterday I was off work and so was dad. It was so nice to have some time to spend together. I'll fill you in on all that later though. So we stopped by my mom's office to pick up some toothbrushes for me to mail to Adam. I came in and all the girls were just "aw, Jess, you look so cute!" It was great. Then, as we were leaving, my mom called out my name. I turned around and she was like "do you remember T?" There was a woman who looked very familiar sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. I said she looked familiar and mom went on to tell me that it was M's sister (her brother's wife). I'm not really sure what that would make her to me... distant relative by marriage? Anyway, of course my mom starts telling her how we're expecting (I guess she has taken on the role of Adam now and when sharing the story says "we" are having a baby). T looks all excited and asked if I knew what I was having yet. Then, one of the interns there at the office looked at me and said "oh she's having a boy. I can tell by the way she's carrying." Ok. That's fine. Apparently my stomach looks a certain way. I can live with that; there's a baby in it and he can make it look any way he wants. What I am NOT fine with was the next comment.... T went on to say, "Yeah I think you're right. I've noticed your butt and hips look a lot wider from the last time I saw you."...............................what........................... I didn't even know what to say. I just stood there thinking "are you the devil?" What kind of horrid person tells a pregnant woman she looks fat??!!! Then, it gets BETTER! My dad chimes in with "ya know, I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say anything." OH MY GOSH! If I wasn't pregnant, I would get a gun and go shoot myself right now! I suppose they were starting to see the agonizing look on my face and then tried to make it sound better (however not even remotely successfully) "oh, I mean, its not a bad thing! That's how I knew I was having a boy with my second one. My butt and hips just spread right out. With my girl I was all belly." I wanted to tell this woman she was STILL all belly and needed to shut her fat mouth. However, being the gentle southern belle that I am I just said "well it was nice to see you, I'm going to go home and walk..." They all just laughed and dad and I went on my way. Yeah. Very funny. I guess all of it was just a little overwhelming because I hadn't really noticed any changes. Maybe I am being naive because I see my body everyday, but I thought just my stomach had gotten bigger. So much for that dream.

So after that Dad and I met my aunt Lisa for lunch. Lunch. Oh boy. I was tempted to skip it all together but it was 2:00 and I was starving. I mean, I do have a huge ass to feed now :( We had a nice time and they shared several laughs about my butt problem which, of course, was very fun for me.

When I got home I had to get all of Adam's things together to mail to him. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but the post office has an 800 number you can call and get all of your shipping materials for free (well, if you have a friend/family member serving overseas). I had just gotten all my stuff in so I opened it all up and started packing. I have to say though, in addition to insurance, mail is another thing that confuses me at times. I mean, there are so many different forms and ways to mail stuff that I usually have no clue what to do. I got these little carbon copy packets I had to fill out and I had no idea why. I also didn't have any idea of how to fill it out since in the box of who it's going to it asks for a city, state, etc. The address Adam gave me has none of that. No joke, its the weirdest looking address I have ever seen. Then, there were these plastic sticky things in there and I had no idea about those either. I just ended up packing and taping everything and then carrying all the paper work stuff with me to ask the post office guy about it. Anyway, it all got mailed and I hope he enjoys it!

So I felt really great that I had done something productive and thought I deserved a movie. I got in my car and started backing out of the garage, when...BAM! Yes, I was told I was fat and now I had just backed into my mom's car. You have got to be freaking kidding me! I was too scared to get out and look so I just sat there for a minute taking everything in. I turned off the car and slowly got out to get inspect the damage. HAHA! Nothing! I was stuck though. On one shoulder sat a little Jessica dressed as a devil; on the other an angel. I thought, "well, you can't tell anything even happened. Would it be worth getting both of my parents all upset. I mean, they are old. They don't need that stress." Then the other Jessica pointed out "what if there is something wrong that you just haven't noticed. They would be furious if you lied to them about it." Damn my conscience. I tromped off to the backyard (aka my gravesite) to tell them what happened. I saw dad first and told him. Typical reaction - "you did what?!" He came and looked at it and opened the hood to make sure everything was fine. One of the little silver things on her grill was cracked, but that was it. Then he said I better go tell mom. Dun dun dun. I walked back and saw her mowing the grass. I told her she better turn it off. She already looked mad. I said "um mom (insert puppy dog eyes) I just backed into your car." Her response "Oh Jess! You didn't! Is it bad?" I told her that I couldn't even tell anything had happened. She walked over to me, put her arm around me, and said "well, these things happen sometimes. Let's go take a look." For the second time today I was totally speechless. No yelling. No storming off. I was totally confused. She looked at the car and just said "well the main thing is that you're ok. There isn't any damage or anything. Go get my keys and I'll move the car for you to get out. Just make sure you look next time before you back up." That was it. I just decided to be thankful that something was going my way out of the whole situation.

Well, other than being fat and hitting a car, my day was fine. haha. I'm off again today, so let's see if I'll be so lucky as to step on a nail or break my arm. I'll fill you in tomorrow!

I'm too sexy for my onesie

Here's the 18 week belly!
I still can't believe that Friday will be 19 weeks!!! I am almost halfway there (although it feels like I just started this nine month journey). I'm sure I've said it a million times, but I just can't wait for next week when we find out the sex. Since my little gender prediction test results were shared, almost everyone has been buying Baby Martin boy things. My aunt Lisa did buy a lot of "gender neutral" stuff though. The baby will be wearing a lot of yellow at first! I thought I'd share some of the adorable things baby has gotten from various people (because we all know baby clothes make us smile!)

This is one of the surprises Kristen had waiting on me when I got to Birmingham this weekend (If only it were true!)

And this....

And this.

I know, so cute right? Here are a few things my Aunt Lisa has gotten baby...

Yes, this is a sweatsuit with camoflauge letters that says "Reporting for Doody". She thought it was apppropriate since Adam was in the Army. Adorable!

Since baby Martin will be celebrating Christmas with us this year, he/she has to have the right accessories!

Love it

So true, so true

Baby will be SO ADORABLE getting out of the bath and into this!

Matching onesie, hate, bootie socks, and bib. On the onesie it says "Mommy loves me". So right!

Baby has gotten much, much more, but those are a few highlights! Its 10:30, so I think I might need to be getting out of my pajamas and actually do something productive today! Happy Thursday everyone!

Mini Vacay

Well, as I might have mentioned, our office took off this week for vacation. Now, I would hardly call my little outing a vacation, but it was nice to get a way for a while. First, I went to visit my best friend Kristen in Birmingham. We met our freshman year of college. We both didn't know a single person when we started state and just went pot luck with the dorm situation. They ended up pairing us together and we've been best friends ever since! I don't know what I would do without this girl. She is seriously my absolute best friend in the world (besides Adam). So when I got there Friday night we went to the mall and, being the awesome person she is, did nothing but look at maternity clothes with me. The outing was productive. I was able to find a few new things.

The next day we headed to the summit and Kris got her turn to do a little shopping. I was so pooped by the end of the day. Its amazing how tired a five and a half inch long baby in your belly can make you! Then, we headed to Kristen's mom's house for an awesome dinner. I love this chick too. Her mom is so fun! After that it was back to Kristen's for some TV and then we went to bed. I know, it got a little crazy! haha. I guess I'm not as much fun pregnant.

Monday Kristen had to go to work so I headed off to Jackson to visit Adam's parents. We had a really nice time. Both of his parents took off Tuesday so his mom and I went to lunch and did some baby shopping. We found some cute places there so I can't wait to go back when we FINALLY find out what we're having.

I have to say though, it was so strange being at their house without Adam. I mean, every time I have ever been there he has been with me. His old room has become "our room" at their house and I have to admit that I got kinda down staying in there alone. I opened his closet and saw some of his old clothes and almost lost it at first. I mean, every inch of the house made me think of him. I have probably said this a thousand times, but I really do feel like the luckiest person in the world. He is the most amazing man ever. I could go on forever about all of the awesome things he does and how incredible he is, but I will spare you the mushy details.

So while everything was pretty uneventful for the most part, you know I never fail to deliver a funny story. So I was driving back to Florence from Jackson on the Natchez Trace. If you are familiar with this at all, you know its real name should be "the scary highway moms freak out about". Its one of those long roads that winds through the woods and has aboslutely nothing on it except a few rest stops here and there with restrooms. Anyway, I tend to be very cautious when I get off at one of these because there have been cases of girls being raped or killed (or maybe my mom just TOLD me that... sneaky). So I stopped at one of them (well, lets get real... I am pregnant. I stopped at all of them) and when I was walking towards my car, I heard this sound behind me. Of course my heart skipped a beat and I whirrled around to see what it was. I didn't see anything so I kept walking... then the buzzing got really loud. I turned around again and there was the biggest, fattest bee I have ever seen. I'm not talking one of those little ones - I mean the big fat fuzzy ones. It was on the attack. I thought after a few swats this thing would get the idea and go away. Oh no. It was there for the kill. We faced off. I was swinging, but it kept coming at me. I couldn't get away from it! I know bee's don't exactly have facial expressions, but this one looked seriously pissed for some reason! I realized my timid little hand wasn't doing the trick so I started swinging my keys. Now, think to yourselves about how this would look to the people passing by on the road. Yeah, therein lies the laugh. I shit you not, it was like something straight out of a Chris Farley movie (well, minus the fat guy). I would've laughed my butt off if I had been driving by a rest stop and seen a girl almost in tears swinging keys around in the air. I know your hearts are pounding so let me continue... I was getting really irritated at this point. This damn bee was out out for me and I had done nothing. I took my huge set of keys and swung really hard right at him. HAHA! Stunned! I quickly made my escape. I sat in the car for a minute, scared he had managed to weasel his way in. No buzzing. I was safe. (I know, you can all breathe a sigh of relief now)

Other than the war bee, nothing new to report. I got a chance to talk to Adam while I was gone so that was happy. He is doing fine and he's actually heard they might be back in April instead of May or June like we had originally thought!YAY! I'm going to try not to get my hopes up though cause you never know with the army. Let's just keep our fingers crossed!

Randomness

So I enjoyed reading Becky's 30 random things, I decided to steal the idea and share my own...we'll see how many it ends up being! Here are some random things you might now know about me!



1. I have a HUGE family. My mom is one of 10 and they are all married. They all have kids. Most of their kids are married and have kids. Let me do some quick math and see if I can give you and exact number....ok I have 17 aunts and uncles, 29 cousins, and 16 second cousins. Now, this is just immediate family (aka - the people that all get together for holidays, birthdays, etc.) I could not even begin to count extended family.



2. I LOVE the smell of new tennis balls. I know, totally weird.



3. I hate my feet. When I was in high school a friend of mine told me my toes looked like little smokies (the sausages). They are so short and fat. I wish i could invent toe extensions.



4. I wear pearl earrings A LOT. I just feel like they go with everything. If I am wearing a t-shirt and shorts, you can bet I'll have on my pearl earrings.



5. My most favorite food in the entire world is maccaroni and cheese. To be a bit more broad, I guess I could say pasta in general. I could eat it at every single meal and never grow tired of it.



6. I have a tatoo. I got it right after my grandmother died. It's a really small native american symbol for a hummingbird. She adored hummingbirds and that side of the family is native american, so I thought it was appropriate (my mom, not so much. I didn't tell her and when she saw it months later when I bent over she didn't talk to me for 2 days).



7. I have no idea what I want my career to be. I know, right? Four and a half years of college and now I'm clueless.



8. Scary movies are my favorite. We run into a problem though because Adam HATES them. I always have to rent them when I know he'll be gone. On another note, I have still yet to see one that scared me as badly as the Exorcist.



9. I hate the color purple. Sorry, Tassie. (Its Tassie's most favorite) You will never see me wearing the color purple.



10. I adore polka dots.



11. My favorite flowers are lilies.



12. If I could go anywhere in the world I would go to Australia. Not sure the fascination...



13. I used to work a Texaco Xpress Lube. Friends of my parents owned it and let me work there as a secretary while I was in high school. And, yes, I caught major flack about it.



14. I, like Becky, LOVE singing in the car. I probably look like a complete idiot to most of the people who pass by, but I so don't care. I totally belt it out.



15. I am very sarcastic. I get it from my aunt Lisa ;)



16. When I was younger I had such a thick country accent I don't know how people understood me. I watch tapes of myself and roll on the floor in laughter.



17. While I am a girly girl, I love being outside. Adam and I really enjoy kayaking, camping, rock climbing, and hiking. We actually got each other kayaks as wedding gifts.



18. Its has to be really cold when I sleep. I absolutely can't fall asleep when it's even the slightest bit warm.



19. I know nothing about gardening or flowers. Its a good thing Adam is in landscape architecture or our yard would consist of nothing but rocks and dirt.



20. I adore wine. It's been a while since I have had any (needless to say), but under normal circumstances I enjoy it a lot.

21. I am deathly afraid of heights. I mean, even bleachers make me really nervous. Hm, maybe its actually a fear of falling. Is there a difference? I'll have to check into it to make sure I have my disorder correct.

22. I love speaking in front of people. I have done speeches and emceed events with all different size crowds and I adore it.

23. I think about writing a book all the time. I actually started one during my first year of teaching... It was called "I got hit by a bus - the true story of a first year teacher". See, I really did get hit by a bus. My car I mean. Entire bumper ended up in the middle of the parking lot. I thought it was a fun title both metaphorically and literally.

24. I'm left handed.

25. I have a shoe obsession. I mean, its really bad. My mom told me that from the time I could walk and talk, if we went to the mall, I would always run to the shoe store and beg for a new pair of shoes. I'm still the same way today - except now I have to beg Adam.... or go without him knowing ;)

26. I worry nonstop. (I think I might have mentioned this before.) I worry about anything and everything.

27. I've always wanted to go to a psychic. Not that I believe in all that stuff, I just think it would be fun to see what they had to say.

28. If I wasn't so broke and wasn't such a wuss, I would get a nose job. I am not a fan of my nose at all.

29. Pre-pregnancy I was addicted to red bull. (Yes, I know its horrible for you) It was the only carbonated thing I would drink (don't like soda at all). Maybe going 9 months without it will help me kick the habbit.

30. I have a hard time paying full price for things. Usually if its not on sale, I don't buy it. I am a HUGE bargain hunter (I get it from my mom). The only exception to this is shoes.

31. If I could meet one person it would be Bono. I am a HUGE U2 fan. The meeting probably wouldn't last very long though because I am so in awe of him I would probably pass out as soon as he even entered the room.

32. When I was growing up I wanted to be an actress. I would memorize commercials after watching them once or twice and go around the house reciting them for my parents....poor guys.

33. I think the 80's was the best decade ever for movies and music. You can't argue with the fact that "safety dance" and "come on eileen" make you smile.

34. My two favorite colors are pink and green.

35. Besides rude people, my biggest pet peeve is incorrect grammar.

Well, there are a few things you might not have known (and probably a few things you felt better off not knowing). Hope you enjoyed the read! More to come about my weekend visiting Kristen and the in-laws in Jackson!

Michael Jackson Berl?

Hey Blog readers! I am not really sure the reason for the happy intro... today wasn't the best day at work. Maybe I'm just glad to be home away from work. And blogging makes me smile. Smiling's my favorite (Don't you love that movie? I wish it were Christmas everyday).


So even though I didn't have the best day at work, I did have a very hilarious moment that I must share before filling you in on everything else. So at the front desk at a dental office you have to talk to people. Now, most of the people who come are happy just making their appointments and leaving.... then, there are those who wish to share their life story or ask about yours. Generally, these people fall into one category - old men. I just love little old men. They are so precious. They will ask/talk to you about anything and everything. Well, this adorable little old man came to check out today and he was going on and on about this, that and the other. Then, he said "Ya know, I want a berl like Michael Jackson!" Well, with the the noise in the office I understood him to say that he wanted a girl like Michael Jackson..... hmmm... I thought for a moment (I wanted to say, uh, you want to be with an ugly girl who will have babies and leave you alone?). I kinda like to act goofy with the old men and humor them so I just repeated what I thought he said back to him in a shocked voice "You want a girl like Michael Jackson?" He said "a girl? What? No! I'm a one woman kinda man! I want a berl like that Michael Jackson! (let me translate; apparently in the south "berl" means "burrial"). I still thought he was saying girl and the dental assistant who was standing at the counter laughed her head off and said "No, Jessica, he was saying burrial!" (Oh, yeah, that makes much more sense. He wants a vegas style casket with vendors selling t-shirts when he dies?) Little old man and Mrs. H proceeded to taunt each other about girls and husbands and I believe it ended with Mrs. H asking if she needed to get her husband on the phone to straighten him out. I have no idea where that conversation went.



So, from this cute little man with the accent I apparently don't understand, I had another person who had me totally confused. I got a phone call that started "Mam? Is this Dr. B's office? (Let me stop right there. If someone answers the phone "good morning, thank you for calling Dr. B's office. This is Jessica; how many I help you?" would you think you had reached Dr. B's office? Or would you think you were calling to order a pizza? Sorry for being so sarcastic, but really... pay attention when I say my little spill. I don't do it for fun) So after sweetly replying "yes it is", he went on, saying "well hey there. I got a puppy here" (I thought he was trying to explain the barking in the background before he began his question so I let him continue) "now this puppy done fell off somethin' and broke his leg (at this point I am thinking, "um, this is quite the tragic story. I do feel major sympathy for this puppy, but where in the hell are you going with this?" ) Needless to say, I put in a quick "oh no" and let him continue...there had to be a point in there somewhere. So he goes on "well, he got a problem in that back joint there and I'm wondering..." then I stopped him. Ok, obviously this man is A.a little off his rocker and thinks "doctor" means able to fix anything, or B. (the more likely of the two)this dude thinks we're a vet. I kindly interrupted his poor story about Buddy to say "um, sir, I'm sorry. This is Dr. B's office, but we are a dental practice, not a vet." He sat for a moment and said "oh, uh, I'm sorry. Well, listen, I'm done way out here in the country and aint got no phone book, could you look up the number for the animal hospital?" I was a little taken back, but wasn't bound to let Buddy suffer on my watch, so I quickly looked up the number and called it out to him. Hope the poor little guy is ok.

Ironically enough, that last story is a good segway for me tell my about my fun filled activity last night. I shucked corn. Yes, go ahead and laugh. Farmer Jessica sat out on the back porch with mom and shucked corn. I felt so Alabama. Knocked up pregnant girl, living at home, sitting on the back porch shucking corn with her mom. If I had had on some cut off blue jean shorts and a low cut tank top with my bra strap hanging out it would've been magical. It wasn't too bad I guess. I mean, fresh veggies always taste better so I'm sure it will be worth all the hard labor in the end. And we did get some help. Poor little kid from down the street who likes to come visit got ropped into helping. Oh my gosh, I have to share this too. So he and his mom were on a walk and came by our house to show us what they had gotten for their new shih tzu.... a camo dog stroller. (Her husband is in the army) I swear to goodness it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen in my life. A mini Gizmo sitting there with his tounge hanging out in this camo stroller. I mean the little dog is 8 weeks old. You could carry him in a coffee mug. Then, here he comes pimpin in his Excursion size limo stroller. I wish I had had my camera. So after all the oooo-ing and ahhhh-ing, Coby asked what were were doing. Mom said "shucking corn" as if a 6 year old had any idea what that was. He excitedly asked "can I help?!" Given that we had 2 garbage bags full of the stuff mom said sure. Poor little kid. He had no idea what he was in for. It was like mom was beginning some sort of illegal child labor institution. He seemed happy though. He liked "pickin' off all those little hairs" as he called them. His dad came to get him later and he said he didn't want to go home. Mom had to promise to go get more this weekend so he could help again.

Finally I have to share Adam news. Man, this post is getting long. Most of you have probably scrolled on down or found a much more interesting blog by now. Well, I think I mentioned that Adam called me the other morning and told me they were flying out to Iraq that day. (They have been in Kuwait for the past 3 weeks.) I didn't hear from him all day yesterday and today he finally called and said they made it safely. Hopefully once he gets settled we can finally try out this Skype deal. I'm dying to see his face!

Baby is still moving all the time! I LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling him move! Its so real now. I also do things constantly in hopes of getting him excited so he'll give me a little kick. Before Adam left I had him record himself reading some children's books. I wanted the baby to know Adam's voice, so I planned on playing it while he was gone. I got some of the old school headphones (the ones with the poof ball ear pieces) and put them on my stomach to play them. The baby LOVED it! He started moving all around. It kind made me teary eyed though. The first part starts out "Hi baby! This is daddy! I want to read you a little story and little critter and his daddy..." It just made me think about how Adam can't be here to experience everything. I know he hates he's missing it too. At least I am getting to talk to him though. I can't imagine what it was like for all those poor wives with husbands who were gone in earlier wars. I mean, they didn't have cell phones and the internet. They had little, if any, contact. That would be horrible. I am thankful we still get to talk, and, like I said earlier, possibly see each other skype-ing.

Well this post has definately gone on long enough! Off work tomorrow so I'm sure another will be coming soon. Happy Almost Friday Day!

Popping and Popcorn

Ok people, brace yourselves.... a happy post! I know, I know, long overdue! Today was a really great day though and its just what I needed!

So when I woke up on Friday of last week I had a HORRIBLE pain my back. Upper back - right where my shoulder blade is. I figured I had slept on it wrong or something and thought it would get better. It didn't. I was in a lot of pain when I would move or bend in certain ways. Well, after much complaining, my dad was like "well Jess, you just need to go to the chiropractor." (He is a firm believer in them... he's had MAJOR back issues and goes periodically.) So I just stared at him, mouth agape, and was thinking "ok, I don't think lying on my stomach having some crazy man push on me would be the best idea..." I said "I don't think they can do that when you're pregnant." I thought about it for a second and then decided I couldn't be sure until I consulted my assistant - Google. I researched and researched and everything said you were perfectly fine to have chiropractic adjustments while pregnant. Most of the sites/people even said it was beneficial and EXTREMELY helpful; especially in later pregnancy when things can get outta whack. I called the office and asked if they worked on pregnant women and she said absolutely. Yay! A remedy for my pain! Thankfully they had an opening the next day.

So today was the day... I have to admit that while about 20 websites and the chiropractor said it was ok, I was still a little nervous. Well, the guy came in and he was FABULOUS! He asked all sorts of questions, had me move in certain ways, etc. and then said "ok, well I know exactly what the problem is." Turns out some past injuries, stress, and my new job (thanks computer) have all attributed to my ailment. He said he was going to do some massaging (who wouldn't go for that?!) and some light adjustments. He felt around the area and said I had some major muscle stuff going on. He said it was like night and day from the right and left side. So, he did his thing and I felt great. Now I know some of you are freaking out right now because you think chiropractors are a joke. He was VERY knowledgeable, mentioned several doctors that actually came to him, and as it turns out, he gets several of his referrals from Dr. W (My OBGYN). Anyway, I am a very cautious person and I was very impressed with him so if I have any further back problems (which I'm sure I will as I begin to carry around this growing melon) I will definately be back.

After my appointment I headed to meet my friend Jessica for lunch. I think I have mentioned she and Chris before. They have a little boy named Clark - aka cutest kid ever. So we had a good chicken salad sandwhich and then dropped off Clark so we could go to a movie. I had been wanting to see The Proposal forever and I'm super glad we went! Oh my gosh. So hilarious. I seriously can't remember the last time I laughed nonstop through a movie. I don't think of myself as someone who laughs easily. I mean, I will think things are funny, but I don't let out a real hee haw unless it is like knock you down funny. So I totally laughed through the entire first half of the movie. It was fabulous. And let's get real here - who doesn't mind looking at Ryan Reynolds for 2 hours. This is one I would definately reccomend.

So as you can see it was a very lovely day. Rather unproductive, but I totally needed it. I even helped myself to some popcorn and chocolate covered almonds while we were there. I NEVER order stuff at the theatre. Not really sure why... However today, when I walked by that glistening glass case and the aroma of the fresh popcorn and butter hit my nose I decided today would be the day. Today I will be that fat pregnant lady carrying so many snacks you think she might just fall over (or die from a cholesterol induced heart attack). I proudly stood there, belly pushed up against the counter, and ordered my popcorn (with butter of course) and candy. I said to myself, if you can't go all out when you're pregnant, when can you? I can't very well die without having a movie snack meltdown, right? Now, granted, I did feel a little pathetic as I walked in to the theatre alone carrying a bottle of water, bag of popcorn, and overly large box of candy. (Jessica had to drop Clark off so she hadn't made it there just yet.) I felt a little as though everyone was thinking "wow, that poor pregnant woman is here alone, obviously attempting to eat away her sorrows as she watches a goofy romantic comedy. She needs a man. Or friends. And probably later a puke bucket." haha. So I did feel a little better when Jess came in.

Back to work tomorrow! I am pondering how much of the info I will actually remember from my foreign training session (described in earlier post). After my day today though, I am in good spirits so I will try to remain optimistic. Hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to Adam tonight and that always brightens my day! Oh, and we are on vacation next week! Woo Hoo! So what am I doing you ask? Well, I'm going to go to Birmingham to visit Kristen and probably drive to Jackson to spend some time with Adam's parents. No, no beach. I am not sure if I could even be paid to get in a bathing suit in front of people right now. Maybe when I pass the "hm, is she really fat or semi-pregnant?" phase.

Speaking of, here's the latest belly pic! Growing fast! Still ready for the 24th!!

The American Dream

Have any of you ever sat and listened to someone speak a language you didn't speak? Well, thats what I did today for 4 hours. I went into work today (our office was closed) in order to get trained on the computer program we use.... wow. So I know nothing about dentistry which is apparently a big deal when you work in the front at a DENTAL OFFICE. My mom went with me since she knew the lady who was training me. She also wanted to make sure I knew what to ask, etc. So for four hours this lady went over the ins and outs of the program. It was like listening to Greek for 4 hours. I got so emotional. I wanted to run and cry. All day I heard a swirling of "you need to differentiate your perio and prophy patients by setting the tab in the ledger portion by adjusting your continuing care information to 8months...however it really means 4 months because don't forget you have to alternate your perio maintenance and prophy appointments. Now, don't attach either of these when you have another appointment for a comp and post or buildup." ugh, WHAT?! I wish I could truly describe the greek-ness of this whole day. I know I have mentioned repeatedly that I am a perfectionist and a people pleaser. This does not bode well when I am put into a position in which I know NOTHING and feel like a complete idiot most of the time. I feel like I just stay depressed.

Not to mention that in addition to all this, Adam sounds like someone just ran over his puppy every time I talk to him. He is having such a hard time right now. I know he is even trying to perk up when he calls so that I won't get upset. I can only imagine how he would sound if he didn't even attempt to sound chipper.

I am having one of those "everything kinda sucks" days. After the four hours in Greece, Adam called sounding all sad. I then filled him in on some stuff his mom is dealing with and then he got even more upset! He was like "why would you tell me all this?" I told him I thought my job was to keep him informed. I knew that if he got back and THEN heard about it he would be like "geez! why didn't you tell me this was going on while I was gone??" I felt horrible and kept appologizing for upsetting him. He obviously knew I felt bad and said I did the right thing in telling him... he just wasn't having a good day and didn't really want any more bad news. He said that he knew there was no way for me to know that.

Then, I helped my mom with dinner and watched some TV. I rented confessions of a shopaholic in hopes it would cheer me up but it didn't really seem to do the trick. Only served to make me depressed I can't wear anything cute anymore. Did I mention that mom and I did a little trip to the maternity store? Yeah, I bought some stuff... by far nothing to write about. I hate maternity clothes. I feel like I am a 40 year old suburban mom. Ya know, the kinds Stacy and Clinton track down on what not to wear. I expect "market researchers" to come video tape me at any moment and ask about my style or something.

I hate that I am so sad. I know I have moments of enjoyment and excitement with the new baby, but this deployment is even harder than I imagined. The REALLY sad thing is, he's only been gone 3 weeks! I don't know how I am going to make it for a whole year. I am feeling very alone and weak right now. I need one of those yellow bracelets that says "un-strong". I know I need to stay busy and be with friends, but its to that point where, yes, I am bored, but I dont feel like doing anything. Ever had that happen? You are so bored and depressed that you don't even want to leave the house and hang out with friends in attempts to feel better? I mean I still try to do it. I ask mom to do things with me a lot just to get out of the house. And while I do stress about my job, I really thank God for it. I can't imagine sitting at the house all day every day. I really would go crazy.

All of this has really made me think about how I want my life to go. I've been thinking about "if I could do/have anything, what would I even want?" Well, because I'm sure you're all dying to know, I will fill you in on what I have figured out....

I want to live the island life! I want a house on the beach surrounded by lush tropical plants and trees that opens into our own little bay. I want a hammock between two plam trees.

I want to work with aquatic animals at an aquarium. Dolphin/whale trainer? I dunno. I want a job where I can be outdoors all day and barely have to sit down. I want it to incorporate animals, biology, and teaching. Oh, maybe I could teach kids about animals at the aquarium when they come for trips and stuff! How fun! Do they have people for that? I want some interaction with the animals though. Well, this is just my brain going throgh thoughts.

I want a sailboat with sleeping quarters so Adam and I can leave our private beachfront home for weeks at a time and just sail.

I want our kids to be able to come home from school and play in the sand. I want them to run up to the house holding little hermit craps in their hands telling daddy and I to come see what they've found.

Can you imagine all that? I know, paradise. Maybe one day I can talk Adam into the beach lifestyle. He's mountains and snowboarding and I'm oceans and boating. I think he might be coming around though. He talks about our trip to the Dominican a lot and how much he enjoyed it. The other day we were talking and he said "ya know, I think I might be coming around to living at the beach." Now, this was probably said in attempts to make me super happy for some reason, but I won't let him forget he said it. It's my dream and he is such a sweetheart for wanting to fulfill it - no matter how "out there" it might be. Did you know that only 44% of Americans consider themselves to be living the American Dream? I suppose for right now though, none of this is even a priority. Living the "american dream" with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence just doesn't have the same appeal in my situation. My american dream? My husband back and a healthy baby. That's what will get me into the 44%....the rest is just a bonus.

Please remember to keep all the soldiers in your prayers, especially tomrrow, as we reflect on how lucky we are to be Americans where we still have the right to dream!