Just Stamp "Goodyear" On My Butt

Well today was another checkup with Dr. W my gyno. I always do look forward to these - I mean given that I am a chronic worrier it helps to go see the doctor just to have that reassurance that everything is going well. So I go into the waiting room, do my little sign in thing, and have a seat in one of the excrutiatingly uncomfortable chairs (whcih brings me to another point - don't you think that in an office where pregnant women are seated for long stretches of time they would have something at least semi-comfortable? Where's the love people?) However, my day was immediately uplifted when I received smiles from most of the women already seated... its amazing how a pregnant woman can make people smile. I suppose its just the joy of babies. Who can resist at least a one corner turn up knowing someone is about to have a beautiful baby? Anyway, the feeling was contagious and I was soon in a very pleasant state of mind. I am going to have a baby. What a happy day...

Then, I was all too suddently ripped back to reality. The one part of those checkups that I DO NOT look forward to is the weigh in. I cant only imagine how people on Biggest Loser feel doing this in front of the entire country. I get nervous enough looking at it alone. So I hesitantly step on the scale, all the while repeating my weight from my last appointment over and over in my head. The nurse began the treacherous sliding of the weight... she kept going.... and going... "oh for the love of fudge, please stop soon!" Then she stopped. I looked ahead and saw a horrible number staring me in the face. Yes world I am even going to share - 143. Are you freaking kidding me??!!! At my appointment two weeks ago I weighed 138. I quickly did the math in my now swirling head - 5 pounds. Two weeks. 5 pounds. I kept repeating this over and over... two weeks... 5 pounds.... How is that even humanly possible?! I wanted to cry. I have now gained 25 pounds - and I still have 6-8 weeks to go. Go ahead and stamp "Goodyear" across my butt and fly me over a football game. Or ya know, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, maybe I could qualify for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade...As soon as my doctor came in I let it out. Poor guy began with typical "Hi there! How are you doing?", which we all know is purely rhetorical. No one ever actually answers with anything other than "fine". Well, not me. He had no sooner gotten the words out of his mouth than I was answering with "Well I've been better! I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that I gained 5 pounds in two weeks!!" He gave me a comforting, fatherly sort of look (after he rolled his eyes of course) and said "honey, its just water retention. This far along you will start to hold more water and that will increase your weight. Its not fat. Its barely possible to gain 5 pounds of pure fat in two weeks. You are aboslutely fine. You have never been big a day in your life and you still aren't" I admit that I did feel better hearing most of my worry was composed of supposed "water weight", but the thought still lingered in the back of my mind as to how much weight I would end up putting on - and how long it will take to get it off! Poor Adam left a normal wife and will come home to a blimp... that is assuming he still makes it here before Maggie Claire does (extra reminder to keep us in your prayers!). With all that said, I am just going to have to work super hard to bring sexy back when she's born. (Excuse the Justin Timberlake pun, I am not even a fan. Just seemed to work so I went with it. haha) After she's born I'll have 4-6 months to get back to the old me; or maybe even a better me. I don't care if I have to sweat to the oldies with a curly headed gay man, I will get the weight off!!