Dear Mom

Dear mom,

The madness must stop. The posting of these so called "cute, priceless" photos ends today. I've had enough. If I were old enough and understood the complex legal processes of this country you can bet your Cheerios I'd be suing for defamation of character.

I knew my day was coming. You didn't think I was watching, but I saw clips of that kid on "A Christmas story" over the holidays. I began to rue the day you too would dress me in the never ending abyss of white fluffiness. I've heard stories about those people mom. Once the suit goes on, you never come back. Two small eyes are all that's left once the suit has its way with you. I was waiting....

Then my day came. Oh, you and daddy tried to cheer it up with all the talk about "snow" and "going bye bye". Then you took me to the window and I saw it. The white stuff from the movie... and I knew it was coming. The suit of death. As the green and white fleece enveloped my entire body, I knew I would soon be the laughing stock of the entire facebook community. I fought it. I wasn't going down without a fight. However, you were too much for me. I had to accept it - but I didn't have to like it. Ah, you dream of the facebook comments you'll receive about how "darling" and "stinkin' cute" I am, but I am ruining it for you mom. If I must be posted across the nation in this atrocity, there will be no smiling. There will be no teeth showing. There will be no scrunch face....

I told you woman, I am done.

Sincerely,

Maggie Claire

p.s - I hope you will not hold this against me, as I am desperately hoping for a yogurt snack upon awakening this afternoon.