And the List Goes On

If I haven't mentioned the fact that everything that could possibly go wrong in a person's life is gradually going wrong in mine, forgive me. The last month has consisted of a multitude of insane events that have all but sent me over the edge.

I also recently got another bomb dropped on me, hence the reason for the almost-midnight blog posting. Venting is needed.

I can't go into details, but let me just say that I am truly in the midst of a nervous breakdown. There are no plans - I need plans. There is no certainty - I need certainty. None of this makes any sense to you. I feel like a raving Jerry Maguire, diligently hacking away at the keys that will all too soon be the forceful creators of a raving mad mission statement.

I'll stop there. Its almost midnight and beyond the fact that my child refuses to sleep any later that 7am and I need what little beauty rest I can get, I also realize that with no details about this situation, it isnt much of an interesting read. Thanks for humoring me. I'm off to bed to contemplate the highest quality mental institution with the greatest opportunity for immediate admission...

Fast Forward

Ok readers, I need some help. You all know that the money situation is dire so I'm attempting to get another job working from home. "Doing what, Jessica?" Well, I'm so glad you asked! Writing. I dunno, this may be a complete crap shoot, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right? Anyway, my sweet brother sent me some info so I'm going to look into it.

So what do I need from you? I need you to leave a comment telling me if you have a favorite post. I have to submit writing samples to this company so I thought a time saving strategy would be to use some I already have - a.k.a blog world. Now, I know this is a daunting task considering how fantabulous ALL of my blog posts are - but if you have a favorite, or recall one you enjoyed reading I'd love to hear about it. I'm going to gather some samples and see what happens. Thanks friends ;)

Icing and a Cherry, Please

You know those weeks that just SUCK. I appologize for my negativity, but I don't care how optimistic and happy-go-lucky your attitude about life may be - you have days that SUCK. This is one of those weeks. One of those weeks where you want to write a letter to life. One that says "oh life, you are just totally rocking my world this week. Thank you so much! Please, please, can I have some icing and cherry to top off the insane amount of nonsense you have bequeathed upon me? Yes? Gee thanks - you're awesome."

I'm not going to piss off my husband bore you with financial troubles... or raising-a-picky-eater dilemas... or begining-a-new-career setbacks. Nope. I am just going to let you in on the icing and cherry life threw atop my stress cupcake yesterday.

As you might have seen in MC's letter to me in the last post, we had snow recently. (In case you're wondering, the city did follow along with its typical practice of the "one snowflake shutdown" and the entire city ceased to function and all bread went missing from the grocery stores) Well, when snow melts and then it gets cold, it freezes. (Please, don't thank me for this useful knowledge - I'm just doing what I can to educate the population) When it freezes we call it ice and it covers an abundance of stuff you walk on - like stairs going from your porch to the sidewalk. Being the observant person I am, I ALWAYS look for ice on my stairs since I live in freakin' Mississippi - one of the coldest places in the US. {If you picked up on that sarcasm, good for you.} So I stepped off the porch and onto the stairs and WHAM - icing order thrown my way. And the cherry? I was carrying my laptop. The computer and my shoes went flying like a kite in the middle of March. If it didn't suck enough to now be sitting on my ass, shoeless, in the middle of the sidewalk, I then got to retrieve my now broken laptop. Is that not the biggest, juciest cherry ever? Thanks life. Keep 'em coming.

Dear Mom

Dear mom,

The madness must stop. The posting of these so called "cute, priceless" photos ends today. I've had enough. If I were old enough and understood the complex legal processes of this country you can bet your Cheerios I'd be suing for defamation of character.

I knew my day was coming. You didn't think I was watching, but I saw clips of that kid on "A Christmas story" over the holidays. I began to rue the day you too would dress me in the never ending abyss of white fluffiness. I've heard stories about those people mom. Once the suit goes on, you never come back. Two small eyes are all that's left once the suit has its way with you. I was waiting....

Then my day came. Oh, you and daddy tried to cheer it up with all the talk about "snow" and "going bye bye". Then you took me to the window and I saw it. The white stuff from the movie... and I knew it was coming. The suit of death. As the green and white fleece enveloped my entire body, I knew I would soon be the laughing stock of the entire facebook community. I fought it. I wasn't going down without a fight. However, you were too much for me. I had to accept it - but I didn't have to like it. Ah, you dream of the facebook comments you'll receive about how "darling" and "stinkin' cute" I am, but I am ruining it for you mom. If I must be posted across the nation in this atrocity, there will be no smiling. There will be no teeth showing. There will be no scrunch face....

I told you woman, I am done.

Sincerely,

Maggie Claire

p.s - I hope you will not hold this against me, as I am desperately hoping for a yogurt snack upon awakening this afternoon.

Hello New Career

Well, I've done it yet again. I've changed my mind and my career. Let me elaborate (because I know the bloggy world is just DYING to know the details of my complete multiple-personality-career disorder)

Some of you might know that the entire time I was growing up I wanted to be a doctor. A pediatrician to be more precise. Then, as I got older and learned more about the profession, I decided that might not be the best idea since #1 I desperately wanted to get married and have children BEFORE I was 30 (we all know how long you have to go to school to be a doctor) and #2 I pretty much stink at math and its definately not my favorite thing to do. Anyway, throughout high school I found a few other career options but quickly nixed them due to whatever reason (law, optometry, etc.) I then went into college completely uncertain of what the crap I was going to do with my life.

I then decided teaching would be a great fit so I major in elementary education. I graduated with honors and thought I had really found my "calling". Well, let's move to year two of teaching.... INSANE. I can't even begin to describe my first two years of teaching. Totally re-evaluated everything. I then worked a few receptionist type jobs while I did the whole soul searching thing. I truly thought about what aspects of each career I liked and what I didn't and my specific personality traits that would help me excel in whatever profession I chose. I then decided on real estate...

Skip to present day. I did my course work and took my state test in December and am now a licensed real estate salesperson. However, as with any job, it requires a great deal of knowledge about the business- something which I do not have. I am therefore working as an assistant with a real estate agent until I feel comfortable stepping out on my own. Its already proven to be a great learning experience and I hope I will continue absorb this crazy amount of information.

This brings me to my current state of complete horror. I feel like an idiot. I do this with every single new job I take on... I think "oh my gosh. I'm a retard (accent on the second syllable as noteably stated in The Hangover) and will never learn how to do this properly." Am I alone on this? Any other spastic, perfectionistic, OCD crazed people experience the "what was I smoking when I decided to do this - I will never get it" feeling? Yeah, thats me right now. Real estate is a VERY complicated career and all the legalities only add to my overwhelming, yet unfounded fears that I will do something wrong and be sued or thrown in jail with a manlady named Bob who wants to make me her "special" friend. Oh dear God, I'm having a panic attack. Maggie Claire will be the kid in school who's mom "wears that funny orange zip up thingy and pals around with the psycho cat lady who killed her husband" Not good.

Seriously, it all makes me quite nervous (as if you can't tell). I basically jumped in a career I know NOTHING about with past experience that has NOTHING to do with my new endeavor. However, Adam says that no one knows everything when they start something and I will learn as I go. Let's hope he's right. I'll keep ya posted as everything develops. Until then, I will continue to sport my deer-in-headlights expression as each new form, law, data sheet, input information, ect is thrown my way :) Hopefully its a good look for me....

Have a happy weekend!

Hollywood